unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:06 PM BST
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Total posts: 2888
First post: 30/8/2008 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
Jeez don't write him an email or contact him. Hes' decided that its over and made it abundantly clear what he thinks about you or your feelings - zilch. You don;t have to decide or tell him thats its over - its is. Already. Finished. Now, the only thing you can control is your pride and dignity. So.... no back handed ness so he'll see stuff on FB. Block and delete. You will find this is the best thing in the long run. You are desperate for him to contact you and doesn't want too. Please save yourself from this, as much as you can. The guy is a complete and utter arse. You and I, shall be friends until we are old and senile. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:18 PM BST
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...: Ah, you poor thing. Yo really deserve a hug and lots of reassuring support and love right now. I know you don't yet feel strong enough, but I'll tell you this for nothing, it's amazing how taking back some control can make you feel a little better. He deserves to be deleted and ignored right back. Bastard. I don't say that very often, but I really mean it in this instance. It's utterly rotten and downright bastardness what he's done. Posted by wau wau sister You see, I think by Pink sending an email telling him he's a shit and then blocking him so he can't respond, she is getting some control back. I know that "having my say" has helped me so much when i've been in her position, but I did do it solely because I needed to - not because I was expecting a response. Pink, if you can do that, and then block him out of your life totally, then do - but don't contact him again if you hope to get any response... I don't understand people like this. I really don't. But I'm glad that those who behave like this, are no longer in my life. And in time you will be too, but I know it doesn't feel like it right now. What a disgusting human being he is xxx |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:23 PM BST
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Total posts: 32
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
aw hun I really feel for you. This must be horrible. But just see it as a complete fresh start. Nothing from the past to hold you back or bring you down but only good things from here on out. It would be worse if you'd managed to get yourself over everything else and then you break up with him months down the line and have to start all over again. Now you can just forget about everything that went before and concentrate on being the amazing person you want to be. You seem so strong, just keep it up and know that we're all thinking of you. Hav you got any friends you can call to come round and hang out with you, take your mind off it? |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:26 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
I just hate it so much cos part of me feels like I've given up. Even though I knew that I would be able to do a ldr and survive in it-just seems he can't which kills me. I don't want to know how long this is going to hurt for and I hate it-I spent most of last year like this and I don't want it. I had finally found a guy who was more than the others and who I felt I could be myself with-something I can hardly do with friends. He just got me. And it's over and I can't do anything :( I feel like I did something wrong or he wouldn't have done this. Everything I look at is just reminding me of him and I don't want to think about him cos then I just think of everything he could be doing right now. I just feel sick. I saved the email to drafts, don't know what I'll do with it
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:26 PM BST
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Total posts: 2888
First post: 30/8/2008 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
But Lily, do you think she'll really be able to not wait to see if he responds ?? I'd agre with you, in fact, as I have never been known to be backwards at coming forwards, i'd verbally, or emailing ly sock it to him and then cut him off. But I don;t think she'll pull it off as she seems so all over the place with it all. (sorry to talk about you in the third person ). At this point, I'd still say for her, that to just stop this and call it ALL to a complete end - blocked, deleted and over and out. What could she say, that he won't think she is being an over reactive, clingy, over emotional etc etc....The guy is just incapable of understanding the effect he's had on her, so why get him to try.??? Imagine him reading it, tutting and thinking for the love of god etc etc And what if he then blocks her ??? She'd hate that. I'm with zap the bug. You and I, shall be friends until we are old and senile. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:28 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Curly its 1.30am here :( so can't really talk to anyone. Texted a friend but they are asleep. I can't sleep so am on here cos at least then I'm not going crazy by myself
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:32 PM BST
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
I see your point Mr M, hence saying email him and then block him. Even if he does reply by one form or another, Pink will then have the power of having had the last word - which is not to reply. It's difficult, but when I did it (and I'm not a strong person by any means) it made me feel so much more in control. right now she's in limbo, and it's pure anguish. She'll block him first, so will have no idea if he blocks her. All she needs to say is sommat like: you are no longer the person I thought you were. Don't ever contact me again. Which is pretty much what I said in my experience. I just know that the lack of contact for no reason makes you feel so powerless and that hurts as much as the fact that it's over. Alleviating that in any way, shape or form, can be immensely carthartic. Pink (sorry - back on track to you now!) ... you did NOTHING wrong. At all. He's made his decision and in the most cowardly, pathetic way possible ... but this, hard as it is to believe, is NOT a reflection on you one bit. What did your email to him say? |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:40 PM BST
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Total posts: 32
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...: Curly its 1.30am here :( so can't really talk to anyone. Texted a friend but they are asleep. I can't sleep so am on here cos at least then I'm not going crazy by myself Posted by thepinkshoe Sorry I forgot about the time difference!! I have to agree with Mr Mannering that it would be better to block... But I know if it was me I would want to be able to check what he's doing and would be waiting for a reply ete etc so wouldnt want to do it. Although I know that makes it harder to get over Im a sucker for punishing myself and I hope you have the strength not to do that to yourself cos its him being a w**ker and you've DONE NOTHING WRONG!!! I know its hard because you havent been able to talk to him and know why he's suddenly changed it feels unfinished, which is why its so difficult for you to know what to do. If you don't think that email says everything you want to say without requiring a response don;t send it, cos otherwise it will deteriorate into a conversation where your head will jsut get all messed up again. If you're not gonna block and delete just try to avoid all of those sites. I know there's a program that you can download to your PC which blocks just one or two sites but you can still use the rest of the internet (my friends used it during exam time to stop their B addictions lol) So maybe that would help if you think deleting him is too much. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:40 PM BST
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Total posts: 2888
First post: 30/8/2008 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
I guess. But there have been far too many times in my life I wished I'd risen above it all. A trait that has been totally and utterly lacking in life, sadly. My mate can do this - the dignified silence and when I'm hopping about gettinhg all shouty on her behalf, telling her to 'tell him like it is girlfriend' and wondering why on earth she won;t do this and that...... inveriably, her calnmer approach works in the long run. Horses for courses. Be strong Pink, whatever you decide..... things wil get better. They always do, so keep yadda'ing away on here as these chaps know their stuff and will put you right. You and I, shall be friends until we are old and senile. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 3/7/2009 4:43 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Im considering just pasting it in here but read over it and it's quite full-on, don't know if I want to put it up here as I think everyone will think I'm completely crazy and mad-also has a couple things in it I haven't mentioned yet. So unsure. It's mainly me being completely mad at him. It's also not a final thing as I'm thinking of changing bits. It's so hard cos the last time I properly spoke to him things were better than usual-so that's the last main convo my mind switches to-which makes it even harder for me to comprehend it all. We were talking about our first date and were saying what we love about each other and he stayed online as long as I wanted and we were just happy-on skype so I could see his face. And then this is so so confusing :S |
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