Forums » Relationships » Relationships » unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 9:17 AM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
I'm feeling a bit better today only cos I went for some exercise-still feel the same when I think about the situation. Sleepybird he spoke to me on Saturday but even then it was 5mins and he was completely distracted the whole time. Before that was last monday. I understand that not speaking for a week wouldn't be so weird but the fact that yesterday he completely ignored me when we were both online at the same time (after saying on Saturday he would talk to me soon..love you etc). Also having seen the photos on Monday I'm feeling pretty bad cos they just seemed suss. I'm trying my best not to contact him. It's just annoying cos I want to sort out the whole photos thing. I don't want to be worrying about it but I can't help it. I had decided initally that I would wait until about a month in (now) to see how I felt with him away so this has just made me think he's not worth it if he keeps ignoring me. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 11:05 AM BST
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Total posts: 2418
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 26/11/2009 |
Just came across this thread... I think its awful the way he is treating you and with the lack of answers, you are more than entitled to be annoyed. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 12:37 PM BST
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Total posts: 36
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...: I'm feeling a bit better today only cos I went for some exercise-still feel the same when I think about the situation. Sleepybird he spoke to me on Saturday but even then it was 5mins and he was completely distracted the whole time. Before that was last monday. I understand that not speaking for a week wouldn't be so weird but the fact that yesterday he completely ignored me when we were both online at the same time (after saying on Saturday he would talk to me soon..love you etc). Also having seen the photos on Monday I'm feeling pretty bad cos they just seemed suss. I'm trying my best not to contact him. It's just annoying cos I want to sort out the whole photos thing. I don't want to be worrying about it but I can't help it. I had decided initally that I would wait until about a month in (now) to see how I felt with him away so this has just made me think he's not worth it if he keeps ignoring me. Posted by thepinkshoe Where is he travelling? Just cos I went to South America last year and a lot of the internet cafes and hostel PCs didnt support things like FB chat and MSN cos they're too slow, so if he's somwhere like that then that could be a reason for not chatting to you wven if it says he's 'online' ... but if he's ignoring your emails as well then that's not on. Also, the amount of times I wrote HUGE long emails to my OH while I was away and just as I pressed send, the PC crashed and i lost it all, and then my 15mins or whatever were up on the PC so had to go. It could be something like that. I've only been the traveller, not the person left behind, but it seems like you went about it the right way, discussing it beforehand and making it clear you wouldnt wait around while he ignored you while he's away. How long is he away for? I apologise if you've already said this, I have a goldfish memory!! I wouldnt make any rash decision about ending the relationship, just make yourself as busy as possible and see what happens. He may have a perfectly legit explanation for it. This week my OH has been away working, really long hours, but was not getting any texts from him etc etc, felt really ignored and upset, and it turns out he wasnt getting my messages and I wasnt getting his cos of a problem with the network ... so it may be something as simple as that. Hope it all works out x |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 3:31 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Hey, still no contact from him but have been good and stayed off skype and facebook which usually tempts me to wait around for him. Just stayed away from the computer for most of the day! He is in europe and is either in hostels or staying with friends using his own laptop. Doesn't completely fit in with the bad connection bit (though a good thought) just as his msn was on and I had previously sent an email as I was upset about some things and wanted to talk. The fact that he has that and ignored me when I needed some company and a bit of support has hurt the most. He was to be going for a few months-really depends on money-I had said I would evaluate how I felt around now and this hasn't made it too good. I have this bad feeling that he's just going to keep ignoring me and that'll be it-sounds bad and not too sensible but that's my feeling at the moment. The fact that he is keeping very quiet on details of anything-eg-what he's seen or been doing-isn't making it easier-especially as during our beforehand talks he told me he would keep me up to date with things just so I wouldn't feel completely left out. Instead of talking to me he is uploading photos so maybe he thinks that answers those questions but it's just that I would like to know how he is and feel that he at least cares about me still or at least thinks about me sometimes-doesn't feel like that now though :( |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 3:40 PM BST
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Total posts: 36
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
I really feel for you, it must be horrible waiting around for him to contact you, esp if you've got some other bad things going on that you want his support on. I really do hope he gets his act together and starts being the guy he seems to have been before he left. The same thing happened to my best friend when her bf went travelling for 3 months to Australia, he rarely contacter her, put all these photos up of him and other girls and dumped her via FB while he was out there cos they had a silly fight. BUT that was 2 years ago and they're still together now. Once he got back they worked things out, he realised he was an idiot and hadnt treated her nicely and apologised and made it up to her. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe he's jst excited about these new places and people and doesnt realise that he's leaving you out. But if he continues to ignore your emails, then I'd be concerned. Maybe leave it til the weekend and send him another email just saying how much you miss him and how you thought he was going to involve you more with his trip so far and if he's not willing to do that, and not willing to make the effort to speak to you when he does have internet access, then you're not prepared to sit at home and wait for him? |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 3:48 PM BST
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Total posts: 6856
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 26/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...: I really feel for you, it must be horrible waiting around for him to contact you, esp if you've got some other bad things going on that you want his support on. I really do hope he gets his act together and starts being the guy he seems to have been before he left. The same thing happened to my best friend when her bf went travelling for 3 months to Australia, he rarely contacter her, put all these photos up of him and other girls and dumped her via FB while he was out there cos they had a silly fight. BUT that was 2 years ago and they're still together now. Once he got back they worked things out, he realised he was an idiot and hadnt treated her nicely and apologised and made it up to her. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe he's jst excited about these new places and people and doesnt realise that he's leaving you out. But if he continues to ignore your emails, then I'd be concerned. Maybe leave it til the weekend and send him another email just saying how much you miss him and how you thought he was going to involve you more with his trip so far and if he's not willing to do that, and not willing to make the effort to speak to you when he does have internet access, then you're not prepared to sit at home and wait for him? Posted by CurlyThoughts I think, unless he's got a very very good reason to be doing this, he's a rotten sod. I've been thinking about you and how much you must be hurting and I was hoping you'd update with some positive news. I have nothing to add, apart from this: if he's this much of a nonce, considering what you've talked about before he went, you are better off without him. Not much consolation I know. x |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 4:10 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Thanks wau wau for saying that-made me think-"well people on handbag are wondering if I'm ok but my boyfriend doesn't seem to" which is making it a bit clearer. Curly I'm thinking if I haven't heard from him by Saturday that something is definitely up and he is clearly ignoring me on purpose as it will have been a week of nothing which is quite odd for us. Right before he left he helped me with something that was incredibly big in my life and that I let go of. It's like he helped me make a decision with it and figures I must be 100% ok with it which I'm not as I don't want to regret the decision I made. And not really having people to talk to about it has made me think over it too many times on my own. He's always supported me before he left but now it seems to be "I'm overseas so I can't do anything to help you" when I have told him a nice email would make a big difference even if it was just a sentence or two but he has not written me one since I asked for that. Also if something was to happen re-breaking up it's not like we would even run into each other as it was a ldr anyway-about a 1 hour flight. So to me I'm thinking "if I break up with him it will be the end of things for good" not a "well see how things are when he gets back". Thanks for everyone for writing so far-it's been nice just to be able to get some opinions and good to know my rambling is making some sense :) |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 4:22 PM BST
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Total posts: 36
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
No response for a week is pretty damning. Obviously you know him best so if it seems deliberate, you would obviously know. No contact from my OH for a week would be unthinkable, so If I was you I'd def be upset. I'd need a really good reason for not replying to your email when he knows you're so upset If you make the decision to end it, at least you know you've done all you can and its him that's ruined a good thing and with it being an ldr you wont have to run into him, you can concentrate on yourself and getting over it before he even touches down back in the UK. As for the other problem, I'm sure the lovely baggers would be more than happy to lend an ear. Obviously with something that huge for you, you do need support. Can you not talk to a friend or a family member about it? If you're not happy talking to someone you know, you may get some good advice and support on here, I defintely think you should talk to someone if its still affecting you. As much as I'm rooting for you both and I want him to send you an email expressing undying love and a really amazing reason for not replying, if you don't get that, he's not worth your time. Def let us know what happens. Take care hun x |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 4:25 PM BST
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Total posts: 150
First post: 20/11/2008 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
What a horrible thing you are going through!! I really feel for you hun. It is horrible when someone changes so suddenly and turns your world upside down. I think you should take control of the situation and decide that you will not put up with this and end it with him. I don't even think you need to tell him this, just stop contacting him and try to get on with your life and move on.
:) x
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 2/7/2009 4:27 PM BST
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Total posts: 12944
First post: 29/1/2005 Last post: 10/10/2009 |
If he doesn't contact you again... I'd block him from Facebook, delete his number and take him off MSN.... I would imagine that once he gets back to the UK and has come back from travelling, he'll try and contact you again with some awfully pathetic story about why he didn't get in touch as he fancies a shag.... |
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