unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
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Forums » Relationships » Relationships » unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 18/7/2009 2:35 AM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Hey everyone, Haven't posted anything for a bit to just clear my head. I'm starting on some anti-depressants atm-doctor recommended it just to see how I feel-it's not just to do with this guy-mainly cos I have had quite strong feelings of depression since the start of last year that come and go a fair bit and the psychologist appointments are dealing with everything even though they are helping. He has been trying to call a few times and has been texting. I did reply to one of his texts (I know I shouldn't have! but i did...) Was mainly cos he was writing saying "I've been texting you heaps etc" (up until then I had got one text not heaps as he said). I replied with "I have received one text in 2 weeks. And I am not going to call you". (he kept asking for me to pick up or call him) He kept sending texts after that, one saying "happy 8 months" and saying he loves me with all his heart and misses me so much. He hasn't written to me by email, just been sending me texts-not so much that it's really pissing me off, just about one a day that are all the same pretty much. Him saying that we will be ok as soon as we talk etc. and saying he's sorry for not talking to me. I don't really know how I feel about it all. Have started swim coaching/teaching which has been good as I'm focused on that when I'm there. Uni has been stuffing me around which doesn't help but I am starting that on Monday so hope that will sort itself out soon. On an unrelated note I had my first pap-smear yest-was quite weird but glad I finally did it-and had STD check (even though nothing is wrong) just to keep my mind at ease whenever I hear about all that stuff. And my mum bought me some flowers to try make me feel a bit better-after I told her I was starting anti-depressants. So they are looking very nice in my room :) |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 18/7/2009 7:57 AM BST
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Total posts: 17185
First post: 11/11/2005 Last post: 24/9/2009 |
So he's admitted he hadn't been talking to you then? Knobber. You're doing really well - be proud of yourself and I hope the ADs make you feel better in yourself. When is he due back from travelling? He clearly still thinks that once he's back, he'll be really sorry for his behaviour, say a few sweet words in your ear and everything will be OK again. He's either severely deluded or very arrogant. What do you want to happen when he gets back? Is it definitely over in your mind or would you want to hear what he has to say for himself? I personally wouldn't even bother seeing him when he gets back. It's clear that he was ignoring you for a while and if you hadn't made a stand against it, he'd have continued to do whatever he liked and not talk to you. His behaviour is very manipulative he thinks he can do as he pleases and you'll go along with it. He didn't bargain on you getting advice on here though! ;) |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 18/7/2009 10:55 AM BST
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Total posts: 4979
First post: 19/1/2006 Last post: 6/8/2009 |
You are amazing Pinkshoe. I went through exactly the same thing a while ago and I wish I could have been as powerful as you are now.
If not me, then who; |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 19/7/2009 1:38 PM BST
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Total posts: 298
First post: 20/4/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
I'm not exactly sure when he will be back-not for a little while. He was going to go for ages but keeps bringing the date back. I'm kinda still wanting to hear from him when he's back-but that's just how I feel atm-my feelings could definitely change by the time he is here-all kinda depends on the healing process a bit. But in my head its more so if he wants to talk to me he will need to come face-to-face (it's a lrd so usually talk on the phone but this can't be done over the phone). I've got an incredibly busy week so am looking forward to the distractions! |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 19/7/2009 6:44 PM BST
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Total posts: 32
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
I am really impressed that you've managed to stay so strong! I definitely wouldnt have been able to cope so well. It does seem like he's expecting it to go back to normal once he's home ... and by bringing the date back he wants it to sound like he's doing it for you. I know once he's home it will seem different but I think if he wants it to work a face to face meeting is a must! I think a busy week will definitely help you ... by the time he gets back you'll prob be so busy with your new activities and your friends you wont even want to see him. I hope everything starts to get easier once the ADs settle down. |
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Re: unsure if it's the end or the beginning of the end...
posted at 20/7/2009 7:56 AM BST
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Total posts: 12944
First post: 29/1/2005 Last post: 10/10/2009 |
Him saying it will be OK when you talk? His ego is amazing. First, he is assuming you want to talk to him.... and that you'll do what he wants, as... well, that's what you do, isn't it? he shouts an you come running....? at least, that's what he wants to think. And second, that he thinks he can tell you loads of BS and you'll fall for it... you just wait for the excuses... 'I ignored you on MSN because......' 'I ignored your emails because.....', 'I was getting drunk with this random woman because......' *whinge* but why don't you believe meeeeeeee, I love yoooooooou *moan* You are doing really, really well and he is obviously still wanting to try and manipulate you - isn't it funny? when he thought you were a good little doormat, he really didn't make much effort, yet now he knows you are nothing of the sort, the level of contact has been stepped up and he's trying to make sure you're still sticking around for him? |
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