So that's that then :(
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Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 23/6/2009 10:02 AM BST
Total posts: 2407
First post: 1/4/2005
Last post: 19/11/2009
Sorry to hear that your going through this, but I can only add that I second what so many baggers have already said.... I dont think the holiday together is a good idea. Yes you will have friends there, however remember that they are actually going as a couple so there are bound to be times when they go off in their couples to do sightseeing and what not. Wouldnt that leave you and the ex together? Iv been in a similar situation when I was about your age and it wasnt ideal.

We went ahead with the holiday as it was with another couple, but it was spoilt as we fell out and found each of us clinging to the other couple for company which resulted in them having a miserable time as well. If you do go, I wouldnt advise for him to go as well. That's the consequences of a split unfortunately.

If its unavoidable and you both are desperate to go then be sure to find activites to occupy you, a good book, try some sports on the beach and perhaps see whether any excursions are available... they normally are depending on where you are going.

I hope that it works out so that you can have a holiday to recover from some of this, but I think if you both go then things could feel a lot worse when you get back.
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Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 23/6/2009 6:08 PM BST
Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006
Last post: 22/11/2009
I know it's such a bad situation. The holiday is less than two weeks away now. I honestly dont think he will go now, I havent heard anymore and as time goes by the hurt hasn't gone away yet. Honestly feels as though time is going backwards :( I totally get where you are all coming from, if there are arguments the whole thing would go t*ts up (pardon my french!) But I still want him to go, and I wish I could be a bit more head strong and say "look after number one" etc but just now Im still thinking of him, damn my good nature lol. I'll see how it goes this week, I've decided I've said my peace now and well there isn't much I can say to anyone now. I will just have to wait to see  how it goes. We broke up last year and we were friends for a bit and things were fine but I guess I'll just need to wait. Again thank you for your advice! x

Sheesh :)

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 23/6/2009 11:22 PM BST
Total posts: 1357
First post: 12/8/2007
Last post: 22/11/2009



Aaaah, of course the hurt hasn't gone away yet - its only been a matter of days and it would be totally unrealistic to expect yourself to have gotten over it already!

Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the the grieving and healing process will take a long time and allow yourself to go through it.

I think most of us have been dumped by someone we still wanted to be with at some point, and god it hurts!  The only thing I can say is the old cliche that, in time, you will get over it.  I know that's easy for me to say right now x amount of years after it happened to me but  - life did go on (and got better!).  You are going to be sad, angry and all other other emotions in between and it is so unpleasant but you WILL get through this, and thats a promise!

Take care CR and keep posting if it helps - always happy to give a point of view ..

xx

"and that's all i have to say about that..."

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 12:37 AM BST
Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006
Last post: 22/11/2009
Thank you Satsumakitten :) Just feels so difficult, I just passed my exams and stupidly I never even thought about it but I just texted him to tell him and then was gutted he didnt text back, but what was I expecting? He knows I go on this honestly frightened he is readin my posts :( That's how terribly paranoid Ive become ! x

Sheesh :)

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 12:13 PM BST
Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006
Last post: 22/11/2009
Great jsut got told he didnt come home last night :(

Sheesh :)

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 12:24 PM BST
Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004
Last post: 20/11/2009
this is exactly why it's a bad idea to stay in touch with an ex. It fuggin hurts and it stops you moving on and getting better.
Take care please. x

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 3:45 PM BST
Total posts: 4613
First post: 3/3/2005
Last post: 20/11/2009
WWS is right, this is exactly why you need to cut contact with him. I know you've already broken up and gotten back together once but I really don't think you should be holding out for that to happen this time.

Going on the holiday together would be a very bad idea. Not just because you might argue and spoil it for the other but because you still have feelings for him and spending that much time in close proximity to him will a) hurt like hell and b) might give you ideas about the future of your rellie with him.

Whoever told you that he didn't come home is not helping. Please, cut the contact, tell your friends you don't want to know anything about him and try to get on with getting over this.

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 5:44 PM BST
Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006
Last post: 22/11/2009
I just wish I could go to a little desert island with no men apart from nice men :) Relationships are so hard it's unbelieveable. I want to go my holiday so Im not hoping he doesnt lol I also failed my driving test today, my brains are like scrambled eggs :( Just the worst week ever :( x

Sheesh :)

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 5:50 PM BST
Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004
Last post: 20/11/2009
well, if it's the worst week ever, things can only get better can't they?
You can retake your test. Bad lucks on not passing, but you'll get there! You're stressed and out of whack, so don't be too hard on yourself. x x

Re: So that's that then :(

posted at 24/6/2009 6:46 PM BST
Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006
Last post: 22/11/2009
Yeah I know. Cannot wait till it gets better :) Ah i hate driving tests lol, my stomach is always like a bloody washin machine every morning before it lol. You are all right - I guess sometimes when it feels like its going on forever you feel there is no end to it, but ill get there :) x

Sheesh :)

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