Forums » Relationships » Relationships » So that's that then :(
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 20/6/2009 2:03 PM BST
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Total posts: 107
First post: 10/2/2008 Last post: 19/7/2009 |
Hi I'm fairly sure you wouldn't have gone from being the most important thing in his life to just another girl in the space of a couple of minutes. (although this is understandably what it seemed like to you). I broke up with my last girlfriend without having given her any prior indication i wasn't happy, but truth is i'd debated it for months and when the breakup finally happened i'm pretty sure i was just as devestated as her. Theres no easy way for it to happen i'm afraid. The other option is dropping large hints your not happy, becoming a bit hit and miss when it comes to answering calls etc ........ this just prolongs things. Andy |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 20/6/2009 2:33 PM BST
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Total posts: 12589
First post: 23/2/2006 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
in a relationship, you cant make decisions alone so when things start going wrong in future Andrew, before it gets to you making decisions as a single person, talk to her. I know you didnt ask for comment, but its just not fair on your oh to not give her the chance to input to the process. It could make the relationship, or end it a lot quicker and save you both having to endure your gradual withdrawal.
"I'm not selling you my baby Nato."
Posted by Glamour
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 22/6/2009 2:58 PM BST
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Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006 Last post: 22/11/2009 |
Hey Sorry I've took so long to reply had to work all weekend then my grandad got took to hospital, not the best week! Thank you for your wonderful advice. I've took it all into consideration. The holiday is a beach holiday so yes lots of lying about would be done... I still miss him so badly but I managed to speak to him today (my grandad got took in today and for some reason I didnt even hesistate to phone him, he answered) we didnt discuss us because at that moment it wasnt as important. Ive spoke to many people and they've told me right now hes in a bad place, I cant make him happy because I think there's other stuff going on that I can't control. As for the holiday well he does want to go but hes frightened we argue and ruin it for everyone else. Ive told my friends that arguing with him is the last thing on my mind. He's had a tough year and well hes need a break. It's not an excuse for treating me the way he did because I'm still crushed, but if he comes on holiday then maybe he'll feel a bit better getting a break. Right now I'm trying to keep my mind off things but it's very difficult, bought myself a book so hopefully that makes things a little better. Again thank you for all your advice CR X Sheesh :) |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 22/6/2009 4:54 PM BST
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Total posts: 1368
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
"and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 22/6/2009 6:34 PM BST
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Total posts: 1186
First post: 30/8/2006 Last post: 22/11/2009 |
Its actually a villa we are staying in, 2 doubles, one twin and a sofa bed in living room. Sorry if I sounded a bit stuck up saying that lol. Although I do want to get back together with him I think that I'll be okay because two of my best friends are also going. I know how he feels about me and although it will be heart breaking, I think maybe I could just ignore it and enjoy my holiday. Ive been looking forward to it for so long and this year has been tough for me too. I have thought about it constantly for nearly a week - maybe not long enough but I've spoke to a lot of people and they think I should go. Its not for definite that he is going either because he's frightened we'll argue. I think I'll just have to wait to see what happens tbh. Ahh why cant life be simple? Sheesh :) |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 22/6/2009 9:01 PM BST
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Total posts: 1368
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: So that's that then :(: Its actually a villa we are staying in, 2 doubles, one twin and a sofa bed in living room. Sorry if I sounded a bit stuck up saying that lol. Although I do want to get back together with him I think that I'll be okay because two of my best friends are also going. I know how he feels about me and although it will be heart breaking, I think maybe I could just ignore it and enjoy my holiday. Ive been looking forward to it for so long and this year has been tough for me too. I have thought about it constantly for nearly a week - maybe not long enough but I've spoke to a lot of people and they think I should go. Its not for definite that he is going either because he's frightened we'll argue. I think I'll just have to wait to see what happens tbh. Ahh why cant life be simple? I've just started reading This Charming Man, but I'll look up that book later for some holiday reading :) x Posted by Chasin_Rainbows The villa sounds lovely and some sunshine and relaxing is probably just what you need. Sorry to hear you've had a tough year CR  .Definately think that YOU should go but do you think you would be very disappointed if he didn't go? Probably best not to get your hopes up (easy for me to say I know) ... but tbh you probably woudl have a better holiday if he wasn't there - having him around and still wanting him will be awfully hard. Add a little alcohol and hurt feelings could easily overspill into outbursts and niggling, which would not be fun. When is the holiday? very soon? xx "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 22/6/2009 10:45 PM BST
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Total posts: 4940
First post: 19/12/2006 Last post: 29/10/2009 |
tbh, could you agree with him that you'd argue so he shouldn't come? It's time to be selfish and look after number one. 
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 23/6/2009 9:28 AM BST
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Total posts: 17185
First post: 11/11/2005 Last post: 24/9/2009 |
In Response to Re: So that's that then :(: I agree that you both going could be horrible. With feelings all over the place the last place you want to be is trapped in the same villa, hundreds of miles from home. Posted by Miss Megs Couldn't agree more. I think there's a risk of a very unhappy holiday if you both go. This is all still fresh and there are still feelings on your side, probably his too (deep down) and I think you'll be overanalysing everything he says, every move he makes etc. If he doesn't 'behave' in the way you think he should be behaving, will you get upset? What if he's rude to you? It's not unknown for a dumper to take this stance to make sure the dumped person is under no illusion that they might get back together. What if you both get drunk one night and fall into bed and he wakes up the next morning and says it shouldn't have happened? There is just such huge potential for things to go wrong - it's the equivalent of walking across a minefield. You should go, but I don't think he should. |
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Re: So that's that then :(
posted at 23/6/2009 9:35 AM BST
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Total posts: 939
First post: 12/8/2008 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
Going away on holiday with him would be a nightmare. I made the huge mistake of going away with a guy who had just finished with me thinking I could deal with it. A group of us went and it started off ok until it got to the cosy evening times. I tried to be mature and see it as a holiday with friends but half way through the holiday I couldnt contain myself emotionally. I tried to book a flight home and couldnt. Never ever again..... |
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