What Should I Do?
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What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 5:00 AM GMT
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Total posts: 22
First post: 24/9/2009 Last post: 4/11/2009 |
this is a fairly long post. I'll cut right to the chase... My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Two years ago, I left for college in Europe. My boyfriend had met a new friend (girl) right before I left for college. I was in college for a year and came back to the US. Turns out he'd been dating her, but ditched her when I came back. They have been texting and calling ever since. He deletes her messages and call logs. I confronted him about this several times. Every time he assured me it was OK. I believed him and we went on. So yesterday evening he leaves at 8pm. said he was going to hang out with his brother. He didn't come back until 11:30 am next morning. he lied to me about where he was but finally told me the truth...he went to the bar with that girl, left the bar and went to a liquor store and went back to her place. he spent the night.... he tells me nothing happened... I told him I want to leave but he says she's just a friend and that he really wants me to stay with him. what should I do?
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 5:42 AM GMT
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Total posts: 241
First post: 3/4/2009 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Only you can answer that my love, and it sounds as though you know what you want to do (i.e. leave him) but need to be brave. You know they have a history. I don't know if he told you that they used to date or if you found out when you returned to the US, but if it was totally innocent when he went out with her - why lie about it? It sounds like he's got used to having you both, but now your back in person he's finding it hard to make his choice and stick with it. Personally, I'd leave - it might not help you right now but it could save a lot of the same happening in the months to come.  |
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 8:27 AM GMT
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Total posts: 2407
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 19/11/2009 |
You sound as though you know what you need to do. You gut instinct is telling you that something happened, that something is wrong with this 'friendship' he has. In my experience, your gut would always be right. If something feels wrong, it usually is. |
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 9:19 AM GMT
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
Get rid of him. He's a proven cheat and liar, and stupid to boot - like he really expects you to believe nothing happened?! Sorry but as Loveme says you do know what to do, it's just a case of finding the courage to do it - not easy, but far better than sticking with someone who's not worth the oxygen he breathes. |
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 10:12 AM GMT
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Total posts: 3572
First post: 13/4/2004 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: What Should I Do?: Get rid of him. He's a proven cheat and liar, and stupid to boot - like he really expects you to believe nothing happened?! Sorry but as Loveme says you do know what to do, it's just a case of finding the courage to do it - not easy, but far better than sticking with someone who's not worth the oxygen he breathes. Posted by Lily Completely on the button, there Lils! Playing devils advocate here .. from her point of view .. you go away she dates your guy for A YEAR .. you come back and he dumps her (or does he????) then gets all secretive with you and carries on seeing her ... Hmmmm he's not sounding like such a great catch eh. As others have said, I think you already know what you should do but it is the hardest thing to actually do. Everyone deserves to be with someone who gives them 100% ... and at the moment you (and this other girl) are accepting 50% .. not good ... and you should definitely put him in his place for treating you both with such total disrespect!! Hugs Jx
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 2:03 PM GMT
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Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: What Should I Do?: Only you can answer that my love, and it sounds as though you know what you want to do (i.e. leave him) but need to be brave. You know they have a history. I don't know if he told you that they used to date or if you found out when you returned to the US, but if it was totally innocent when he went out with her - why lie about it? It sounds like he's got used to having you both, but now your back in person he's finding it hard to make his choice and stick with it. Personally, I'd leave - it might not help you right now but it could save a lot of the same happening in the months to come. Posted by kitty_boo I think you should decide if you can carry on in a relationship with someone who decides to lie to you. If you have to crobar the truth out of him, then what sort of partner is he? I wouldn't be able to trust someone like that, friend, or lover. But your boundaries and decsions about what you will and won't tolerate are yours. |
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 4/11/2009 3:56 PM GMT
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Total posts: 412
First post: 6/4/2006 Last post: 4/11/2009 |
Hi, I second what the others have said, can you really trust him after all this? If nothing was going on then why did he stay the night and lie to you. I speak from experience and once the trust is gone it is very hard to move on positively. Be strong. x |
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 5/11/2009 9:07 AM GMT
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Total posts: 124
First post: 22/9/2008 Last post: 5/11/2009 |
Hi, I'm going to echo what everyone else has said and say get rid. He has continually lied to you and cheated. You deserve far more than someone who is capable of doing that to the person they are supposedly in love with.
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Re: What Should I Do?
posted at 5/11/2009 10:33 AM GMT
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Total posts: 1354
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
I'm so sorry honey but I am another one who thinks that the effort required to rebuild this relationship into something decent, honest and true is not worth it. Not because YOU are not worth it, but because HE is not worth your time. Why love someone who doesn't love you back? Hope you are okay, have a hug...
"and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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