Settling down
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Forums » Relationships » Relationships » Settling down
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Re: Settling down
posted at 6/7/2009 9:53 AM BST
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Total posts: 5469
First post: 22/5/2006 Last post: 26/10/2009 |
Engaged at 32, married at 33. I don't know about 'privileged backgrounds' totally dictating it - the very posh (i.e. those who don't have to study and, ultimately, work!) seem to get married quite young - Princess Diana got hitched aged 19, and the Goldsmith lot all seemed to marry very young, too. My family have a tradition of leaving it late - i.e. in their 30s, which in the 1970s and earlier (i.e. for my grandparents in the early 1930s) was very unusual. As such, there's been no pressure on me to rush into anything, which means I've been able to have lots and lots of fun and travel after uni in my 20s and 30s before settling down. You're a long time settled, raising a family so why people want to rush into it, I will never really understand. Yes, you can kick up your heels when your kids have flown the nest, but that's not really like doing it with like-minded people in their 20s, is it?! This sort of discussion goes round and round - basically you have to do what's right for you.
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Re: Settling down
posted at 6/7/2009 11:08 AM BST
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Total posts: 3099
First post: 21/3/2008 Last post: 20/10/2009 |
I have to say that coming from a family of divorces, I am absolutely determined that marriage should be a lifetime committment.. So I wouldn't go into it thinking anything else! My Mum had been married and divorced by 22, married and divorced my Dad, and is now married again, but still muddling along. The happiest couple in my family are my Grandma and her 'gentleman friend' who've been together for over 24 years and who never bothered marrying! I think seeing so many failed relationships, and also seeing what has worked has shaped the way I see things. In my local town, 50% of the girls in my Junior School class have at least one child, most have 2 (we're all 22 years old) but they don't seem concerned with marriage. I then went to an all-girls school, and a boys' school for sixth form and there are NO children that I've heard about in my year. One marriage, and quite a few engagements. In my uni year, no children and a few engagments also. I think schooling background has a massive effect, as it depends on your focusses in life at a particular age. Back in the countryside where I'm from, there is very little to do, so having a child early is obviously very appealing for those who still live there. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 6/7/2009 1:09 PM BST
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Total posts: 202
First post: 18/3/2009 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
I'm 24 and we were together for four months before getting engaged! But by the time we marry we'll have been together for almost two years. My Mum and Dad met and married within 9 months - so maybe getting engaged early on runs in my family! I think as others have said, you have to do what's right for you, I knew after my first date with Mr DoH that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However, I still feel really young to be getting married! Most of my friends are single or in fairly casual (albeit long term) relationships. I do know some people I went to school with have had kids - but I can't think of any that are still with the babies' fathers. I can't think of many that are married either - maybe that's why I feel young still!
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
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