Forums » Relationships » Relationships » Settling down
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Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 3:58 PM BST
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Total posts: 1747
First post: 4/2/2008 Last post: 22/9/2009 |
One of my friends got engaged recently and it got me thinking about when is the usual age for this sort of thing to happen. All the reports I read say that people are settling down later and later, but quite a few of my friends are in serious relationships, and are moving in together, and now getting engaged already (I'm 19). So I was wondering about your experiences; So, if you've been engaged, what age were you when you got engaged? How long had you been with your partner? How old were you when you got married? Thanks! |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 4:24 PM BST
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Total posts: 1852
First post: 2/1/2007 Last post: 2/9/2009 |
Hardly anybody I knew at my posh private school/uni is even thinking about settling down yet... but I know a few people in my hometown who are settled with kids now. Maybe a more "privileged" background makes a difference? I'm 20 btw. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 6:01 PM BST
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Total posts: 15459
First post: 20/1/2005 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
I was engaged at 26 and we split up when I was 28. We were together 4 years in total, two engaged. I'm now 33 and living with my OH with no plans to get married as yet. I'm glad I didn't get married when I was younger as I'm not the same person anymore and I'm 100% sure I'd be divorced by now. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 6:14 PM BST
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Total posts: 1024
First post: 2/11/2008 Last post: 14/10/2009 |
In Response to Re: Settling down: Hardly anybody I knew at my posh private school/uni is even thinking about settling down yet... but I know a few people in my hometown who are settled with kids now. Maybe a more "privileged" background makes a difference? I'm 20 btw. Posted by L'H Rouge Background may play a part in some cases, but I was brought up in a fairly well-to-do middle class family and I'm married - I'm 23. I'm not sure it makes *that* much difference where you come from. Well, certainly not in my case anyway.
You can't make chicken soup out of chicken poop!
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 6:27 PM BST
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Total posts: 6501
First post: 10/3/2005 Last post: 6/9/2009 |
I met my ex at 16, got engaged at 27, we were supposed to marry when I was 28 but we split up before. Lot's of my friends were in serious relationships from a fairly young age, my best friend met her now husband at 14, moved in with him at 20 and married at 24, they had a little girl last year. I went to a fairly 'posh' school too - an all girl's grammar, but it just seems to be in my circle of friends in my home town that we all got quite serious with our first proper boyfriends. In my case it didn't work out, but in most others it has. Having said that I'm the only one of my school friends that went on to university, and of the friends I met at uni and since then at work, very few of them 'settled down' in the sense of moving in together or getting engaged till about 25/ 26. My sister got married at 19, she's 42 now and they are still married and happy, although had a few struggles along the way. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 6:42 PM BST
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Total posts: 15459
First post: 20/1/2005 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
Do you think that the people you mix with have similar attitudes to 'when'? Hardly any of my friends got married until their very late 20's early 30's and quite a lot of them are still living with their long term partners but with no plans to get married. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 7:03 PM BST
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Total posts: 3276
First post: 23/7/2003 Last post: 22/11/2009 |
i'm 30 now. a few people i went to school with have married in the past year. the rest of us are still happily unmarried. we're all more interested in building careers and travelling than settling down and having kids. |
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 8:02 PM BST
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Total posts: 2905
First post: 10/7/2006 Last post: 24/7/2009 |
only one of my friends got married young - she married at 21 and is still with her OH. Everyone I or mr rover are friends with got married in their late 20s or early 30s. I simply cannot understand the rush to get married to someone at the age of 19 or 20 when life expectancy for people born in the 1980s is around 85. If you believe marriage is for life then I just don't think at the age of 20 you can visualise being with someone for another 50 or 60 years - it was hard enough to visualise another 50 years of mr rover at the age of 33 
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Re: Settling down
posted at 5/7/2009 8:23 PM BST
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Total posts: 12944
First post: 29/1/2005 Last post: 10/10/2009 |
I've been with my partner a loooooong time. We have no plans to ever get engaged, nor any plans to make mini-me's... yet I'd say we were bloody 'settled'. I guess it depends on what you want in life - I don't have a biological clock, thus am happy with my cat... and whilst I love my partner to bits and think 'he's the one'... I don't really plan my life *around* him.... we just happily co-exist, and enrich each others lives (well, I'd like to think I do... perhaps I just make his hell.....) Different horses for courses - I think some people feel a 'pressure' to grow up, marry, have babies and be a 'grown up'.,... but that's only good if that's genuinely what *you* want and you're not doing it as you think you 'have to'... |
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