Opinions on new situtation....
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 9:42 AM BST
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Total posts: 2422
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 27/11/2009 |
|m sorry, I know its not what you want to hear but I agree with all the comments already posted. Its their home, not yours and you really have no say on whether they provide a key etc for your convenience. TBH, I would be seriously annoyed if I were living with someone who felt it was ok to have someone stay over to often without contributing to bills etc.... hence I live alone! They are in essence supporting your expenses when you stay. What suits you really isnt even questionable as you dont live there. Can you find your own place closer to your bf's place? It isnt up to them to accomodate the distance between your parents home and work. Thats your responsibility.I know you say it suits due to the time you start wk etc, but again, I think that the times you do actually stay over, you should leave when your bf goes to wk. I wouldnt be even less impressed at you being around the house at this time if for example they have a day off work etc and just want to slob out but your still there. I completely see and understand both sides, been there with my ex and I would never outstay my welcome even though his friends did make me feel welcome. On this point, I dont think its fair to push it any further and make things awkward. You just have to accept it and stay at your parents house more often I guess... |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 9:43 AM BST
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
Crimoney, I think Mr K's poor housemates have been more than tolerant! There's no way I would handle anyone's partner staying over so much and using the water, etc. without them paying anything. TBH I wouldn't tolerate it anyway - as I never opted to live with someone's partner! I wouldn't have them staying in the house when the partner wasn't there, and certainly would not allow them a key. It's not their house. I am afraid the only solution is for you and Mr K to move in together if you want to stay with him so much. You may not appreciate it until you're in the situation, but an extra person costs a ton in electricity, water and so on - and you don't have the right to stay over free of charge so much. I think the boys have been really tolerant, far more than they should have been, and they're right to put their foot (feet?) down. Time for you perhaps to find your own place? |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 10:12 AM BST
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Total posts: 7288
First post: 17/10/2005 Last post: 14/10/2009 |
No need for me to repeat what has already been said, I agree 100% with what has been said. I'm sure you get the message! But yeah you are being unreasonable to be honest, I'd hate for someone's partner to be there 3/4 nights a week for FREE and then they expect a key?! Get a place together. 
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 10:23 AM BST
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Total posts: 1753
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 1/9/2009 |
I don't suppose you expected us all to agree with the housemates! Having been in a houseshare though, I can see it from their point of view. The only solution I can think of is to offer to pay a quarter (you did say there was 3 of them didn't you?) of the gas, electric and water bills as these are the ones you're mostly using. That still doesn't mean they should give you a key though, but at least it will get them more on-side. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 10:33 AM BST
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Total posts: 23890
First post: 21/6/2005 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
I think if you regularly stay over (even 1 or 2 nights a week) you or your partner should make a contribution. It still doesn't entitle you to keys or a say, just fair payment for the services you're using.
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 11:20 AM BST
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Total posts: 5166
First post: 9/8/2003 Last post: 30/8/2009 |
And anothr one who agrees with the majority. Their flat-their rules. If I was the housemate, I'd get peed off as well at the thought of you having a key....and yes it could well invalidate insurance, as the insurance company could suspect that you are involved if there was a break-in and not cough up. (I know you wouldn't but that's how their minds work.) As for the bathroom issue-what do you expect your bf to do? Magic up an ensuite? |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 11:24 AM BST
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Total posts: 6392
First post: 1/3/2007 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
Sorry another one that's going to say what you dont want to hear. You are not happy, if I was one of you OH's housemates I wouldn't be happy, they are right you dont pay rent, you dont live there, why should they subsidise you staying there half the week just for your convenience. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 11:49 AM BST
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: Opinions on new situtation....: I don't suppose you expected us all to agree with the housemates! Having been in a houseshare though, I can see it from their point of view. The only solution I can think of is to offer to pay a quarter (you did say there was 3 of them didn't you?) of the gas, electric and water bills as these are the ones you're mostly using. That still doesn't mean they should give you a key though, but at least it will get them more on-side. Posted by shell dockley It's a good idea, but the housemates didn't agree to move in with Kiki. They moved in with her boyfriend and even her paying anything will still seem to be moving in. I also agree that this could cause real problems with the landlord and insurance companies. In fairness to Kiki, it's not always something you think about or consider until it happens to you! I know years ago I loved having my boyfriend to stay without taking into account the effect on my housemates. WHen they spoke to me about it, then I understood, and felt pretty bad about it. But it simply hadn't crossed my mind beforehand. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 12:07 PM BST
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Total posts: 3466
First post: 20/4/2006 Last post: 24/9/2009 |
Sorry but I also agree with the majority here. The fact that you had a key at his old place seems to have unfortunately set a precedent, but you probably shouldn't have had a key there either. It's not the same as your parents house, where you've said family members and someone whose job it is to work in the house presumably when it's empty have keys. I can see it's frustrating for you, but really I think it's best to climb down on this one. Otherwise it might end up causing a big falling out between Mr K and his mates. Hope you manage to sort out a reasonable compromise. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 3/7/2009 12:56 PM BST
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Total posts: 6392
First post: 1/3/2007 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: Opinions on new situtation....: The fact that you had a key at his old place seems to have unfortunately set a precedent, but you probably shouldn't have had a key there either. Posted by dammitjanet Agree and the housemate has seen the move as an opportunity to put an end to it. As for cleaners, relatives etc. having a key to your parents home, it's not the same, your parents have given keys to people they want to be able to come and go, it's their house and their perogative to do so. |
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