Opinions on new situtation....
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Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 9:36 PM BST
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Total posts: 9094
First post: 9/6/2006 Last post: 1/11/2009 |
Hi all, I am hoping you can give me some advice on my current situation. Mr Kiki has recently moved into a new flat with his housemates (not with me) but I am having deep reservations about wanting to go to this new place for a few reasons. He is sharing with two other guys (so theres the 3 of them) and I often at his old place used to stay over 3-4 times a week as I live quite far away from where I work and Mr Kikis house is nearer. I also live with my parents so its makes sense to spend more time at Mr Kikis place than him at mine IFYSWIM. I work shifts so Mr Kiki and myself never start at the same time in the mornings- him at 9am, me at 10 or 11 usually- I also have days off during the week where as he works 9-5 office hours. His housemate has already said that despite this incovienence of starting at different times I cannot have my own key to let myself out. Even though this would make it easier anyway on all of us as there is only one bathroom and we all need to use it before 8am ever morning. At his old place I had my own key but his housemate was never happy about it. Mr Kiki and him have discussed it (when I'm not there obviously!) and the housemate is adament I cant have my own key because A) I dont live there and B) I dont pay rent- thats his only argument. When Mr kiki suggested it might be easier for us he just says thats not his 'problem' (Charming!) I am pretty annoyed tbh and Mr Kiki knows it too. I feel its quite petty really, I mean I live at home with my parents and god knows how many people have keys to our house! Grandparents, the cleaner...loads. I mean what negative consequences are there for him if I have my own key? My other concern is that between three boys and myself (when/if) I stay over- there is only one bathroom. His old place was en suite. All this is kind of not wanting me to go over or stay over much really. Mr Kiki says he will talk to housemate again but in the meantime I am expected to just put up with it really. I am not happy. Does anyone think I am being unreasonable about this? Should I be expected to leave with Mr Kiki even when I start work two hours after him. I can go into town (I work in town) but thats beside the point really isnt it? |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 9:54 PM BST
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Total posts: 21918
First post: 8/2/2005 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
I certainly wouldnt allow any housemate of mine to give a partner keys...sorry. As you said, the old housemate didnt like it either. I would hate for someone to be able to come and go as they please. That stops them being a guest..... I also wouldn't be pleased about the partner being there regularly without the housemate. Living with housemates is difficult, and having partners makes it doubly as difficult. But yes, I think you're being a little unreasonable, although I understand your frustration. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 10:01 PM BST
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Total posts: 9094
First post: 9/6/2006 Last post: 1/11/2009 |
Hi Jo Just to clarify- the old and new housemate is the same person, so its not that his other hosuemate didnt like it either. His other housemate doesnt have a problem with it. I think its a little unfair really, whatever his principles are on housemates staying over, its not like I need the key for anything other than to let myself out a couple of hours later. |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 10:03 PM BST
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Total posts: 1024
First post: 2/11/2008 Last post: 14/10/2009 |
I wouldn't be happy about a housemate's partner having their own key. I can see your point that it's frustrating, but staying over a lot when you don't pay rent might be quite annoying to your OH's housemates. They pay for the place, including the use of the bathroom, so for you to be clogging it up in the mornings too, and to be there when your OH isn't, can't be nice for them. I'm sorry, but I agree with them...
You can't make chicken soup out of chicken poop!
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 10:10 PM BST
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Total posts: 17185
First post: 11/11/2005 Last post: 24/9/2009 |
Kind of agree with the housemate to be honest - I had a similar request from an ex-flatmate because she was working long hours at the time and her boyfriend who always finished at 5pm was having to hang around places and I gave the same answer - not my problem. I hated the idea of someone being able to come and go as they please and potentially wandering round the place when I wasn't there. If you don't live there or pay rent, then you don't have a right to a key. It can also invalidate insurance if non-relatives have a key. Sorry - you may have to work this out or accept that it's going to be a bit different from now on. Do the other housemates have girlfriends? |
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Re: Opinions on new situtation....
posted at 2/7/2009 10:17 PM BST
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Total posts: 1363
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 23/11/2009 |
Sorry kiki but I also agree with the housemate, as frustrating as it is for you. Probably not a solution, but would it be possible to put a Yale type lock on the front door so that it locks when it closes without needing to actually use a key to lock up once you are outside if you know what i mean? Dunno if they would go for that, but is the only solution I can think of right now... "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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