Forums » Relationships » Relationships » How long after break-up to start dating again?
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How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 5/7/2009 11:54 PM BST
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Total posts: 31
First post: 5/7/2009 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
Hi, I just wondered what you think about the issue of starting to date again after a relationship break-up? I left my ex almost 5 months ago and I have a kind of date with someone I met through a mutual friend next week. In the past couple of months I met two guys through internet dating, one of whom I was seeing casually for a while. I still am seeing him every few weeks but it's just for a bit of how's yer father as they say! The date I have next week feels to me more like a proper one as it's someone I met through real life as opposed to the internet if you know what I mean! If anything starts to happen between me and this guy I will stop seeing my internet man. Anyway, how long do you think someone should wait after a break-up before dating again? My ex and I were together for four years but things were going wrong for at least the last year of it. I am very glad I left him and should have done it earlier. Also, when should the subject of exes be brought up? I don't want to discuss it on the first date but how long do you go or how many dates do you go before avoiding that subject might turn into effectively lying?...
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Re: How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 6/7/2009 12:07 AM BST
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Total posts: 6639
First post: 9/11/2003 Last post: 25/9/2009 |
I guess there's no definite set time to start dating again post break-up. I know some people who get straight back out there after a break up but others, like me, have time to themselves for a while before dating. Good luck and have fun |
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Re: How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 6/7/2009 12:15 PM BST
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Total posts: 3099
First post: 21/3/2008 Last post: 20/10/2009 |
Re. Exes, this is completely just my own opinion, but it's not a subject that really needs to be brought up at any time during the beginning - unless you're very curious about his. I would say the less said the better and to just give the basics of 'broke up nearly half a year ago, we were really the wrong people for each other' and leave it at that. Will help you to make a new start without the ghost of your long term ex hanging over anything!
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Re: How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 6/7/2009 12:34 PM BST
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Total posts: 98
First post: 14/12/2008 Last post: 22/11/2009 |
I agree with with Lux lunae about the Ex discussion. Just don't go there. As far as dating, I guess you are ready to meet someone else otherwise you would n't have been looking on the interenet or agree to be set up by your friend. It's just a case of whether the men you meet are right for you or not, and you won't kow that until you try. Doesn't sound like you are pining for your ex or have anything left between you so why not move on. Good luck I say. Enjoy yourself : ) xx
Lilly xxx
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Re: How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 6/7/2009 12:49 PM BST
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Total posts: 17185
First post: 11/11/2005 Last post: 24/9/2009 |
There are no rules really - you just have to do what you feel is right for you and get out there again when you feel like it. I've seen women take more than a year to get over a brief fling with someone and also seen a friend of a friend walk away from a 9-year relationship and get together with someone else just a couple of months later. It really depends on what went on in the rellie and why it broke up. I wouldn't get too hung up on raising the ex issue - my alarm bells would start ringing if someone seemed particularly keen to talk about it! Rarely a good sign. With my current OH, it just naturally came up in the conversation on about the 4th date. We just briefly discussed our past relationships, whether we were still in touch with an ex or not and that was about it really. We didn't discuss the reasons why we broke up with our exes - to an extent I don't think that's really anyone else's business and it can be an intensely personal thing. |
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Re: How long after break-up to start dating again?
posted at 6/7/2009 5:57 PM BST
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Total posts: 31
First post: 5/7/2009 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
Thanks everyone, wise words! Come to think of it, my ex was really hung up on his ex when we first met actually, he was always going on about her in the beginning, I remember it did freak me out a bit at first, in fact a friend of mine commented on it as he had mentioned his ex quite a lot when we all had dinner together. |
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