Forums » Relationships » Relationships » Lies about Boyfriends past
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 5:31 PM BST
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Total posts: 15459
First post: 20/1/2005 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
I have actually dated a bloke who had paid for sex in the past, it didn't bother me as it wasn't something he had done when we were together, but before we even met, so I didn't think it was any of my business. BUT, I can understand how it could bother someone. |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 5:33 PM BST
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Total posts: 3099
First post: 21/3/2008 Last post: 20/10/2009 |
The lying and the hookers would seal the deal for me. If you didn't want to know the truth the first time round, you wouldn't have asked the question, so his excuse of saving your feelings is feeble. I think you were looking for trouble by going through his facebook anyway! |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 5:57 PM BST
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Total posts: 27
First post: 3/6/2009 Last post: 22/7/2009 |
I can see why you'd be upset. However, this is HIS past not both of yours. He probably didn't want to tell you that in the beginning as it would undoubtaly put you off him. I'm not condoning him lying of course, but the fact is, he didn't need to tell you anything. Whatever sexual experiences he had before you aren't an of your business just like any you had before him aren't any of his. Of course knowing that he's practised safe sex etc in the past is essential information, but knowing all the nitty gritty about the significant others past only leads to uneeded insecurities and hurt. As long as he's treated you right while you've been together and you felt secure and happy before all this then there's no problem really...We all do things we're not proud of, it's part of growing and learning. It doesn't mean we'll do them again. Saying this, I know why you're upset, I'd hate to think a partner (if indeed i had one) with other women etc...which is exactly why I'd never ask those type of questions!! He's still the same guy hun, chin up 
'Beer is proof that god loves us,
And wants us to be happy :-)' |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 6:01 PM BST
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Total posts: 10614
First post: 19/11/2006 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
Thing is he lied about something that quite frankly wasn't anything to do with you. How many women he's slept with or what he's done in his past sexual life has nowt to do with you AS long as he has a clean bill of sexual heath and you are safe. Sorry. xx |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 6:11 PM BST
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Total posts: 6639
First post: 9/11/2003 Last post: 25/9/2009 |
I get why people are saying that the past is his business and to an extent I agree but the fact he lied about it and continued to lie until the OP found out suggests he feels ashamed and 'wrong' about it and that he definitely had stuff to hide and that in itself is a worry. I would respect a guy more who told me the truth even if it would surprise me, e.g. the sleeping with prostitutes bit, because it would show we had mutual trust and that he valued me to be honest. |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 6:20 PM BST
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Total posts: 1852
First post: 2/1/2007 Last post: 2/9/2009 |
I would be upset if I found out my boyfriend had lied about something like that. Fair enough it's not my business - but I would expect him to be truthful if I did ask, because if my boyfriend asks me anything I always answer honestly. I would be equally upset if he lied about anything else. The prostitutes would also seal the deal for me - I once dated a guy who told me he'd used prostitutes in South America and I hated the idea. Especially because he boasted about how he'd only paid about £2 each. |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 6:48 PM BST
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Total posts: 6639
First post: 9/11/2003 Last post: 25/9/2009 |
In Response to Re: Lies about Boyfriends past: I once dated a guy who told me he'd used prostitutes in South America and I hated the idea. Especially because he boasted about how he'd only paid about £2 each. Posted by L'H Rouge How classy of him  Bet you're glad to be well shot of him!
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 7:17 PM BST
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Total posts: 939
First post: 12/8/2008 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
Agree. Lying, prostitutes. Those two would be issues for me. I wouldnt be too bothered about the other women as I could skim over that but the prostitute bit would turn my stomach.... |
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 7:24 PM BST
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Total posts: 6639
First post: 9/11/2003 Last post: 25/9/2009 |
It's interesting that most of us would find the idea of a partner sleeping with prostitutes in the past a bit of a shocker and I wonder if that's because women generally link sex with closeness, trust and an emotional connection. Whereas men have more of the capacity to see sex as functional and a means of release which can be separated from having to be close to someone. Maybe most women find that quite confusing. Just a pondering. Sorry to hijack OP!
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Re: Lies about Boyfriends past
posted at 9/7/2009 7:29 PM BST
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Total posts: 939
First post: 12/8/2008 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
I think the worst part for me would be if he was sleeping with prostitutes from third world countries.... I would want to know all the details anyway. I would always be wondering when/if he was going to do it again. Obviously lots of guys sleep with prostitutes but to actually know about it would haunt me... I find this really disturbing. |
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