Hi there,

Any help would be very helpful...

I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and we're very serious... Our families have met and we will be engaged by early 2010. He is a loving, caring boyfriend and I know he does love me and does everything to show me that.

Before we started going out, he went travelling around the world for 9months, and when we spoke about it, the topic of women came up and he said he only slept with one person when he was on his travels. He kept up this story for months and months (basically our whole relationship)...

Recently I was on his facebook and found messages he wrote to his friends whilst he was away - talking about meeting lots of women, doing sexual things with other women, and "hookers". I was devastated to read all this and confronted him. He said he lied because he didnt want it to ruin the start of our relationship, and that once he lied, he couldnt go back.
He now says he slept with 3 women, but I think its more but he wont admit it (I have no way of finding out either!).

I feel that the guy I fell for is a different person - but he tries to say that hes been a loving boyfriend and that it shouldnt be forgotten about just because of his past. I dont know how to look past it because i was suprised he was the type of guy to do that. hes doing everything to make it upto me, and he was only protecting our relationship and i should think about the great boyfriend hes been.

Any advice on what I could do? as I keep imagining him with those women, on holiday, care free - and it drives me crazy... he was talking to me about his cousins stag do, which they're planning for january (abroad for a week) - and its making me so upset that he will be in that sort of environment - strippers and all that. usually i wouldnt mind that - but because of what I know, I dont know how to handle it. I cant stop him from going - and he knows im iffy about it but all he can do is comfort me.

Sorry that this is so long - its just really hard for me.

Any help would be so helpful, thanks a lot

The reason for the 2010 engagment is because my sister only just got married last week... so we wanted to give it a bit of a breather, esp for my parents. and when we spoke about it, we wanted to be financially stable and have a long term plan. It may even be end of this year engagement (depends when he proposes!) but we just wanted to wait til all of my sisters wedding events were over.