Hello old friends
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Hello old friends
posted at 7/11/2009 10:10 PM GMT
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Total posts: 25449
First post: 29/6/2006 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
..hope your all well. Feeling a bit low and lonely so thought id pop back to get it off my chest. Well, my dad died on 6th August. Cant remember if i said about it on here, not sure i did just spoke about him being obese and poorly..anyway i WAS fine..then Monday i kinda broke down for a couple of days and it started hitting me. So its made me really miss having a partner, i feel very alone. I want to be around friends more in family enviroment etc and i had a mini panic attack about NYE the other month. Basically I really want to be with people i care about over NYE and bring the NY in with laughter and smiles and being a bit drunk :) All my mates are seperate but me and my bestmate have done stuff pretty much every NYE together expect maybe 2 out of 9 years. Her and her boyfriend went ahead and booked their tickets and didnt tell me or invite me...i doubt they would have even mentioned it AT ALL. I feel really hurt as she knows how much I need to not feel rejected and this is the 2nd thing she has done this week to reject me (the other, i invited her to an event, she said she would come back to me as they thought about going too, then i found out last minute via FB that they are going and didnt tell me!) So alas i feel like a loser...i have many *mates* but it seems not friends who think of me first when doing things...maybe im a last choice. But my mates made me feel very rejected and its not what i need right now yanno...its bad enough she doesnt really ask me to do anything, its mainly me asking her. *sigh* |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 7/11/2009 10:36 PM GMT
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Total posts: 904
First post: 24/11/2008 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
Oh poke-it, I'm so sorry about your dad! Grief hits people in very different ways and can overcome you all of a sudden at the strangest times. There is nothing wrong with having a good cry and a scream when you need to let it out.  I've just been whinging about new years. I feel exactly the same as you, I want to be with good people seeing in the new year together but I can already see it, me sat alone in my room watching tv and going to sleep before 12. Last year was horrible for me, had broken up with my boyfriend and spent the day before (my birthday) crying in a Topshop changing room. And not one friend called me or got back to me about doing something fun for nye and like you, I felt so rejected and alone. My best friend actually texted me the next day saying sorry she didn't reply, she was out in town! That's a bit low of your friend, friends do tend to go into 'couple mode' and if I was you I'd be tempted to say bugger it and do something really good that you want to do and sod everyone else. |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 7/11/2009 11:54 PM GMT
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Total posts: 25449
First post: 29/6/2006 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
Thanks Knees Sorry to hear about your situation too...its funny how many of us feel left out by our own mates. I might just stay in or go down me mam's. To be honest as much as my mates care, I dont think anyone of them think 'oh i really wanna see pokes' or 'i must spend NYE with pokes, it would be so much fun' *shrug* Ho well Nai mind eh |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 8/11/2009 10:16 AM GMT
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Total posts: 2993
First post: 15/1/2006 Last post: 8/11/2009 |
Hi Poke-it, I am so sorry to hear about your dad :(. Apart from that, which must mean you are feeling quite fragile at the mo, I am feeling very similar to you. I feel kind of alone at the moment, my bday was yesterday and although it was nice, I saw my parents etc, hardly any of my "friends" texted/called me, I hate my job so I am dreading monday and I am just feeling kind of down and also feel like my friends don't really think about me. But then I gave myself a bit of a kick this morning - and am trying to force myself to think more positively, sort of got to protectyourself sometimes. And as for NYE, maybe your mam would appreciate your company? I am sure you could have a really nice evening. xx
Miss L
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 8/11/2009 5:54 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1354
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
Hello pokes, I'm sorry for your loss. I've been single for a little while now, and my boyfriend prior to that always worked NYE so I know what you mean about feelign left out. Every year, without fail, I have expectations of my friends, and they are never met. These are not bad people, or bad friends really - they just each have their own partners/families/other groups of friends who come first for that particular evening. Are your pals there for you usually? Have they been looking after you since your dad passed away? Do you think they know that you need them a bit more than usual now? They may not realise y'know. I think a heart to heart with your best mate is in order here...get it off your chest. You will feelk better for doing so, and she will understand that you need her now. Hope your day has been a bit brighter today xx "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 8/11/2009 6:10 PM GMT
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Total posts: 25449
First post: 29/6/2006 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
Thanks girls Talking with her didnt work. Apparently i always treat her like sh*t? Not sure how when i always ask her to do things, say i want to see her, buy her daughter presents etc etc. Yet she doesnt ask me to things, has twice now been a knob this week and..oh i cant be arsed. F*ck everyone |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 8/11/2009 7:01 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1354
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
Crikey, that's not the response I thought you would get! Did she give you concrete examples of how you treat her badly? Sounds like you both need to understand each other a bit better. I had a similar flashpoint with one of my closest friends this year - I thought she was being unfair towards me and it turned out she thought the same back. We spent a long time and more than just a few tears working through it all, the hurts (real and imagined) we had felt and things were strained for quite a few months, but all is back on track now. Is it worth talking to her again? xx "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 8/11/2009 11:25 PM GMT
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Total posts: 32
First post: 30/12/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: Hello old friends: I had a similar flashpoint with one of my closest friends this year - I thought she was being unfair towards me and it turned out she thought the same back. We spent a long time and more than just a few tears working through it all, the hurts (real and imagined) we had felt and things were strained for quite a few months, but all is back on track now. Is it worth talking to her again? xx Posted by satsumakitten I had the exact same thing this week! My friend of 10 years has barely contacted me since July and was generally just rude to me, not inviting me to stuff etc, and it turns out she thought i'd done something to her earlier in the summer and been rude to her blah blah blah, we met up and sorted it all out, like Satsumakitten says, real and imagined hurts are aired and we managed to salvage the friendship, when it was touch and go for a while. I really think that you need to talk to your friend and get these differences sorted out, cos it will do you both the world of good. As for the NYE point, could you perhaps arrange a party at yours or suggest an event for all of your friends to go to? Then it doesn't have to be just you and your friend and her boyf, it could be a whole group of you?! If people drop out then it's not as big a deal cos others will be there? |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 9/11/2009 1:20 PM GMT
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Total posts: 25449
First post: 29/6/2006 Last post: 15/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: Hello old friends: In Response to Re: Hello old friends : I had the exact same thing this week! My friend of 10 years has barely contacted me since July and was generally just rude to me, not inviting me to stuff etc, and it turns out she thought i'd done something to her earlier in the summer and been rude to her blah blah blah, we met up and sorted it all out, like Satsumakitten says, real and imagined hurts are aired and we managed to salvage the friendship, when it was touch and go for a while. I really think that you need to talk to your friend and get these differences sorted out, cos it will do you both the world of good. As for the NYE point, could you perhaps arrange a party at yours or suggest an event for all of your friends to go to? Then it doesn't have to be just you and your friend and her boyf, it could be a whole group of you?! If people drop out then it's not as big a deal cos others will be there? Posted by CurlyThoughts Hi We've spoken about similar things before and to be honest I cant be bothered. She spoke patronising to me then told me to stop being like a spoilt child (nice eh) so i replied that I wont be called names or patronised anymore and it wasnt acceptable, then explained i dont care if she just wants NYE her and her fella but at least tell me before i find out via FB that i wasnt welcome! The she told me not to talk to her until i spoke to her civil?! After her speaking down to me and calling me a spoilt child? She always does this, talks to me like im her kid and even throws in a few hurtful things like 'spoilt child' or 'its time you heard a few home truths', who the f*ck talks to their mates like that? Yet when i tell her i wont put up with it (without name calling or being mean) apparently im the one whose being out of order....im stumped...i dont want to talk to her, there is no point because she cannot see how she is. She even made the excuse of not telling me about NYE cause she knew i would react like this. The thing is i dont care as long as she is upfront, its not nice to think we're doing something (she said clubbing the other week about NYE) then find out Via her boyfriend on FB that im not welcome and they have their night planned (apparently only TWO tickets left too, she clarified that nicely) She has never once looked at herself and what she does to hurt me and we've come across this before...an email she once sent me with the 'time you heard a few home truths' was disgusting and even shocked my ex, it was possibly the most patronising thing ive ever read. Infact my ex also used to talk down to me in a patronising cold way..maybe i attract them |
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Re: Hello old friends
posted at 9/11/2009 1:45 PM GMT
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Total posts: 2407
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 19/11/2009 |
Im sorry to hear about your Dad passing away, it cant have been an easy time and I think its awful that your friends dont appear to have rallied around when its been so difficult for you. |
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