Having trouble moving on from a guy.
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Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 9/11/2009 10:16 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1
First post: 9/11/2009 Last post: 9/11/2009 |
Just need to let off some steam and get some advice I guess. Will try to cut a long story short. In July I met a guy in a local bar. I was quite drunk, and I was chatting to him and his friend for ages. Let's call my guy Dave and his mate Chris. I said I wanted to carry on partying somewhere, so they said I could pop back to theirs for a drink. So we went back and we stayed up for hours just talking. Chris's girlfriend joined in for a bit, and we all had a good laugh. Then Dave said he was tired and off to bed, so I followed him into the bedroom. I made all the first moves and we slept together. We chatted a bit more before we fell asleep. The next day he had to shoot off to work, but he was really nice, bringing me a glass of water, saying I was welcome to crash at his if I wanted more sleep. But I said I was going back home, and he asked for my number. I said he didn't have to ask for it if he didn't feel the need to, but he said he wanted it, so I gave it to him. Never heard from him again. So around two months later and I still liked him and made all the excuses under the sun as to why he hadn't got in touch with him, I got in touch with him through Facebook and sent him a message asking if he remembered me and making up some stupid excuse as to why he got in touch with him again. He replied saying he remembered me and saying what a good, random drunken night it had been and asking what I had been up to. I was due to go off to Tenerife for six weeks so told him about that and we chatted a couple more times via message. There was always around 4 - 6 days between each message. Then a couple of weeks later he didn't reply to a message, and again I haven't heard from him in about two months. We live in a small town so I know I will cross paths with him again and I don't have a clue how to react. I don't know if he is a genuinely nice guy as he seemed and just didn't know how to react with someone who had been so forward, or if he is a playing bastard who knew exactly what he was doing. He seemed to have the impression I was a bit of a commitment phobe who only did one night stands, but he didn't seem the player type to me. If anything he was shy. Any advice how to get over him please? Really don't know why I still have these feelings after four damn months!! |
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Re: Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 10/11/2009 1:26 PM GMT
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Total posts: 2407
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 19/11/2009 |
Sorry if this sounds harsh but from the sounds of it his worries about you being a commitment phobe aren't the problem. He would have contacted you if he wanted to. I just dont think that he is into you. You slept with him with what sounds like little encouragement, so maybe its best to just class it as a one night stand (which it was) and move on. |
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Re: Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 10/11/2009 5:35 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1351
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
In Response to Having trouble moving on from a guy.: He replied saying he remembered me and saying what a good random drunken night it had been and asking what I had been up to. Posted by lizaluck[/QUOTE] I think that this tells you all you need to know really liza. Chalk it up honey, and move on - nothing wrong with a ONS!  "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 10/11/2009 5:49 PM GMT
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Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
i don't understand how you can have feelings for someone after one night. I think you need to have something else to think about. Four months on is ridiculous to be hampering after someone who clearly only sees you as a ONS. Sorry if that hurts, but we've all been there. A one-night stand is simply that. Get out, have some fun and get your brain focussed on something else for goodnes sake! |
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Re: Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 10/11/2009 10:15 PM GMT
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Total posts: 21918
First post: 8/2/2005 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
I agree. It was just a one night stand that he wasn't interested in taking any further. He sounds like a nice enough, normal guy, but he just isnt interested. It was only one night, and although he may have seemed fab, you don't know him at all really, and you just need to stop contacting him and let it drop. |
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Re: Having trouble moving on from a guy.
posted at 16/11/2009 12:34 PM GMT
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Total posts: 94
First post: 14/12/2008 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
Sorry, I agree. He's thought it was a great night, but referred to it as drunken and Random, suggesting that there won't be a repeat performance. You gave him a get out clause when he asked for your number so perhaps that gave him the impression YOU weren't that bothered, however 4 months down the line I think it's all a bit accademic really. Sounds more like an infatuation on your part than anything else. I think once you meet someone else, he won't seem as fabulous, you're just remembering a great time, but it was a one off! Move on hun and whilst I'm not judging you at all, maybe don't rush into sleeping with the next guy if you really like them. I think for a guy to get serious about you, you need to let him chase you a bit. xx
Lilly xxx
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