To end or not?
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Forums » Relationships » Relationships » To end or not?
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To end or not?
posted at 5/11/2009 12:55 PM GMT
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Total posts: 3
First post: 5/11/2009 Last post: 6/11/2009 |
Been seeing a guy for 3-months, things were great in the beginning but for the past month they haven’t been good. He’s been travelling and whereas before he’d call me most days, he hasn’t been calling me now at all. I haven’t spoken to him since he left at the weekend. I’m un-happy, but just not sure whether I should pursue the relationship a little longer or just end it now. I really like him, his friends, our time together, however recently where he’s been distant I have felt insecure and therefore not been happy at all and all my friends have noticed this. Any advice? |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 5/11/2009 1:54 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1357
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 22/11/2009 |
Is he away travelling at the moment LittleMiss? How long will he be away for? Its not easy to keep things going in an LDR, especially not when the rellie itself is so brand new. "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 5/11/2009 1:56 PM GMT
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Total posts: 4654
First post: 25/6/2006 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
where has he been travelling as part of work? or pleasure? does he email you? its takes two to make a relationship and if you havent discussed your communication expectataions before eh went you should let him know that you'd like more from him. again you both need to find a compromise that you are happy witha dn meet each other half, if this seems difficult then its not worth it at this stage im afraid.
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 6/11/2009 10:06 AM GMT
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Total posts: 3
First post: 5/11/2009 Last post: 6/11/2009 |
He's been away on work and pleasure. During the first trips he would text me and call me most days, but the last two trips I don't hear from him unless I call him. This trip he left on Sunday night and he hasn't called me at all. He sent me a text in the early hours of his time on Wednesday so I think he was drunk, but I didn't reply as I was kind of annoyed he sent it in the early hours when he was probably drunk. So, what he only contacts me when drunk. So, I didn't reply and I haven't heard anything since. I'm just disappointed, as it started off so well and keen and now he just doesn't make the effort. I read an interesting analogue which said about how women give too much love often in relationships and it's like rowing a boat - you think you are both rowing, and then you stop - one of two things will happen - either the boat will keep rowing, or it will simply stop and the effort won't be made by the other person and then you know you've been in a relationship doing all the leg work yourself. I guess this is what has happened with mine. I'm just so disappointed as it was great and I really don't know what changed. |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 6/11/2009 11:07 AM GMT
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Total posts: 2407
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 19/11/2009 |
It is difficult being in an LDR however Im a little confused about his lack of communication too. Have either of you set a date of when you will actually see each other again? Communication definitely needs to be both ways, he may have been drunk but its down to you to tell him that your not happy and let him know what you expect. If you like him otherwise then it could be worth a chance to arrange to meet and talk it through. |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 6/11/2009 12:36 PM GMT
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Total posts: 3
First post: 5/11/2009 Last post: 6/11/2009 |
In Response to Re: To end or not?: It is difficult being in an LDR however Im a little confused about his lack of communication too. Have either of you set a date of when you will actually see each other again? Communication definitely needs to be both ways, he may have been drunk but its down to you to tell him that your not happy and let him know what you expect. If you like him otherwise then it could be worth a chance to arrange to meet and talk it through. Its not ideal with it being an LDR and so new, but its possible if you both want it to happen. My bf and I have a LDR, but we speak most days, know when we are likely to see each other again and make a point to email etc when we can. You shouldnt be doing it all by yourself but set the boundaries and then if it still isnt working then your analogy of the boat rowing itself will prive true. Posted by *loveme* It's not really long distance as he's only gone for a week this time. |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 6/11/2009 1:01 PM GMT
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Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
Have you considered that he may well feel the same. I mean, yo haven't replied to his last text because you are annoyed that he contacted you early morning and while drunk have you even told him that? If you want a relationship, then that's what it takes – communication. From both sides, granted. But you haven't replied to his last attempt and you haven't told him why either. |
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Re: To end or not?
posted at 6/11/2009 4:59 PM GMT
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Total posts: 77
First post: 22/12/2008 Last post: 18/11/2009 |
He might be worried that he over stepped the mark when he texted you as you did not reply and therefore decided to wait for you to get in touch, You won't loose face if you contact him the once and it maybe all it takes to get things back on an even keel and moving forward. Take care. x |
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