Armed Forces - he's moving away!
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Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 3/11/2009 1:54 PM GMT
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Total posts: 14
First post: 6/11/2008 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
Hi there, I started seeing a great guy a couple of months, and although it's at the stage where nothing's really been said one way or the other, I have totally fallen for him! We get on really well, he's in touch all the time, and despite a busy work schedule on his part, meets up with me as often as he can, invites me out with his friends and has even asked me to his Christmas ball!! I don't know how he feels about me, but after a string of bad relationships and finding it really hard to open up to guys, my friends think there must me something special about him for me to give him a chance and let him in. He's in the armed forces and has worked incredibly hard to get to where he is. I knew he was up for promotion, but have just found out that he got it and will be training for over 4 months and probably transferring to a base hundreds of miles away! I'm so excited for him, but am totally gutted! I haven't had a chance to speak to or see him yet, but I can't imagine he'll want to continue seeing me with all this ahead of him. I just wondered if anyone else has ever been in the same position, and what you think? Does it ever work, and does anyone know how long after the promotion has been announced you find out when you start and where you're going to be based? I hope this makes sense, and sorry for waffling on.. this is just the way my luck goes!! Many thanks, I appreciate any help/ advice you can give :) |
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Re: Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 3/11/2009 2:22 PM GMT
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Total posts: 3573
First post: 13/4/2004 Last post: 23/11/2009 |
Are you 100% sure he will be posted away due to the promotion? Often guys are promoted and stay exactly where they are, unless their unit is sent somewhere else? Have you asked him what this promotion will entail? People do carry on long distance relationships .. I was in the army myself and had no problems with it .. my son is also in the army and his girlfriend (who he was dating only 4 months before he was posted to a different barracks quite some distance away) and they are managing quite fine. I guess the only way you will know is if you have a chat with him ... see if the pair of you agree that your fledgling relationship is able to withstand the distance. Jx
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Re: Military - he's moving away!
posted at 3/11/2009 4:05 PM GMT
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Total posts: 14
First post: 6/11/2008 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
Thank you for replying so quickly, I really appreciate it! I guess at the moment, everything is up in the air as he's only just found out and I haven't had a chance to speak to him properly yet. He's been told he'll have to draft to another base but is still waiting to find our where and when! Some of the other guys in his regiment are getting to stay where they are, but he's a higher rank so I don't know if that makes a difference. Fingers crossed if he does go it wont be for a while. You're right though, I need to have a proper chat with him and find out what it entails and what his thoughts are... I just feel like I'll be making it even harder for myself if I continue to see him if he knows he'll have to end it when he goes. Seems such a shame though as I really like him and we seem to be getting on well. x |
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Re: Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 3/11/2009 4:22 PM GMT
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Total posts: 78
First post: 22/12/2008 Last post: 23/11/2009 |
Why do you have to end it? I have friends who are now married that have made it work - London - /> Lincolnshire and they are blissfully happy. It may well take extra effort on both parts and trust etc but don't get ahead of yourslef until you know the whole situation. Sorry if that sounds patronising but I'm great at looking for problems and sometimes they are not there or can be got round fairly easily. Good luck. x |
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Re: Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 3/11/2009 4:32 PM GMT
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Total posts: 14
First post: 6/11/2008 Last post: 3/11/2009 |
Thanks Georgiegirl, and don't worry you don't sound patrionising at all! I'm awful and always assume the worst as that's what's happened in the past with every other guy (not him!). I guess I'm just worried because although when he's with me he acts like we're a couple, he hasn't actually said anything and I don't know where I stand. I know how stressed he'll be when he's away as he'll be under so much pressure with his work, and I just don't think he'll want the added hassle of me too, especially as it's early days! Sorry, I know I'm a nightmare, I'm just such a worrier! x |
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Re: Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 4/11/2009 8:36 AM GMT
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Total posts: 2416
First post: 1/4/2005 Last post: 23/11/2009 |
I dont think you need to worry about anything right now. Your right about needing to discuss it, but given that he is thinking future wise with you already (inviting you to his Christmas ball etc) its looking positive. This doesnt have to spell the end by any means. Im in an ldr, we see each other perhaps every fortnight, being only 100 miles apart. It works for us. Its not permanent and we talk about everything so that the distance doesnt keep us emotionally separated. When your both able to sit and have a chat about it, that should clear up a lot. I think its all looking good though :-) |
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Re: Armed Forces - he's moving away!
posted at 5/11/2009 8:43 PM GMT
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Total posts: 18
First post: 7/8/2009 Last post: 17/11/2009 |
I agree with the other Baggers - although Mr. Boo actually only lives 20 mins away from me, he works in London all week and comes back at weekends, but recently, has even had to work weekends in London, so we are effectively in an LDR. We both make the effort to make things work though, and the distance reminds us to appreciate each other. We tend to keep in touch in the week with texts, facebook and Skype, which I really recommend - free phone calls!!!!! Only last night, I was in bed and had a knock at the door - to find Mr. Boo standing there!!!! He'd driven all the way up from London to see me as a surprise. :) (: You can make this work if you both really want to - it takes honesty, trust and a lot of understanding - there will be times when it gets really hard because you miss each other or end up knackered from driving to see each other, but as a very wise person once said - I believe it was my mum ;) 'Love knows no boundaries or distance.' Good luck and keep us posted! Boo xxx "Made me learn a little bit faster |
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