How to Approach this or do i stay out
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How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 9/11/2009 11:16 AM GMT
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Total posts: 3
First post: 9/11/2009 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
Hi, I had an old account that I posted with but I cant find the details so apologies for seeming like im coming in new and posting but I have a situation im not sure how to handle. For this im not going to name any names but basically I have a sister who works with an older guy who she is friends with. They have always been close and even her work people mention it all the time that they are close. (someone started a rumour that they were togther) Now I didnt see any issues with this until yesterday when he came over and for me I think they were way too "touchy/feely" for just friends. (basically the places he was touching her i wouldnt expect mates too!) I had my suspicions in the past but ignored it mostly but lets just say i found something that just makes me think more that they are more than just mates. Now the reason this is so bad (i know ur all asking urselves this!) is that he is married, with kids and she is also friendly with his wife. I have asked her in the past about it and she went mental at me for evening thinking it so im really not sure how i deal with this? or do i just stay completly out of it? I dont want her getting herself in trouble but I really dont know how to deal with this. Any comments would be appreciated. thanks |
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 9/11/2009 1:32 PM GMT
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Total posts: 94
First post: 14/12/2008 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
I think the fact she went mental at you when you've previously suggested something may be going on speaks volumes!!! I would tackle her head on, if she is seeing him then she needs to be aware that people are onto her and it won't be long before it comes out in the wash and his wife finds out. If she isn't seeing him and it is all just innocent, she needs to be aware that they are giving other people the wrong impression and this could ruin her friendship with the wife. Either way, I would have a word with her. Other than that though not a lot else you can do. they are both adults, they'll make their bed and lie in it, quite literally if that's the case. Good luck
Lilly xxx
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 10/11/2009 6:54 PM GMT
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
Obviously something is going on and it's pretty despicable. Next time you're in their company and they start being touchyfeely ask them if his wife is OK with him behaving like that. Point out to your sister that rumours are going round about them and that if they don't cut it out you'll be telling his wife exactly how close they are. |
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 10/11/2009 7:13 PM GMT
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Total posts: 1354
First post: 12/8/2007 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
I wouldn't get too embroiled in it tbh - tell your sister what you have heard, observed and found and that you are worried she is in a shabby situation. "and that's all i have to say about that..." |
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 10/11/2009 7:16 PM GMT
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Total posts: 6855
First post: 4/2/2004 Last post: 20/11/2009 |
yep – she went mental because you were right and it's called being defensive. Urgh. Tell your sister that you can see what's going on and shit will hit the fan and fly in her face if she carries on. If she chooses to carry on, she has to accept the consequences. As for that man, I'd tell him the same. Haha! Just saw Lily's response – and i agree – ask him if he touches his wife in the same way and is she ok with him touching your sister as he does. Apart from that, I'd be realy upset and disapointed by the situation, but you can't make decisions for your sister and the way she lives her life and learns hard lessons. I wouldn't have them in my house together. |
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 11/11/2009 8:37 PM GMT
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Total posts: 3
First post: 9/11/2009 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
the allowing in the house is pretty difficult coz we share so she has a right to have who she wants as I do. Hes not here alot while iam so the other day was the first time i had seen this but i think ur all right - i just want to look out for her - obviously the wife is the one in the worst place but my sister might get hurt too and that i dont want - shes my sister at the end of the day and I will always look out for her. i think its pretty obvious its going on thou... |
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Re: How to Approach this or do i stay out
posted at 11/11/2009 9:19 PM GMT
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
In fairness I reckon you are allowed to say you won't have the man your sister is carrying along with in your house as you are allowed to say you don't want anyone around who makes you uncomfortable. If they kick off, explain that his wife has said she is unhappy with them being in each other's company. And if your sister gets hurt, then sometimes that's the only way people learn to respect other people! |
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