Advice needed
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Forums » Relationships » Relationships » Advice needed
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 7/7/2009 8:53 AM BST
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Total posts: 30799
First post: 18/3/2003 Last post: 16/11/2009 |
I hope you haven't learned anything about relationships from him - he sounds a total shambles: divorced at a young age, sleeping with a married woman, mucking his kids around - don't take anything that he has taught you into the future. His behaviour is not love. |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 7/7/2009 9:14 AM BST
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Total posts: 13
First post: 6/7/2009 Last post: 12/7/2009 |
When i say i learnt things from him i meant in the sense that i had never been in a proper relationship before so being with him taught me how to love someone and be with someone and the basis of what a relationship work even though i do feel like at the end i became the more mature one in the relationship which has helped me.... I know now i can be in a relationship whereas before i had no clue what it was truly like to be in one |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 9/7/2009 8:26 PM BST
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Total posts: 939
First post: 12/8/2008 Last post: 11/11/2009 |
I have tried to pm you and can't! I would just say look after yourself and try to concentrate on you rather than him. He is not in a good place to give you anything and I think you will get hurt more and more if you keep going back to the same situation. I know it is up to you if you take him back again but I think you may regret it if he does come back. Better to take control of the situation and start putting yourself first. xx |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 9/7/2009 8:47 PM BST
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Total posts: 13
First post: 6/7/2009 Last post: 12/7/2009 |
It's getting easier, not contacted him for over a week and no word from him which is good and i'm feeling strong. I'm getting on with things and getting stuck in at work and going out. I think about him everyday which i know will last a while, time will tell i guess! We were due to go away next weekend with the kids so i've kept the week booked off work and i'm going away with some friends instead... Brussels for a couple of days sure beats a Haven holiday (although secretly i wish i were still going... not my kind of thing but was doing it for him and the kids) Deep down i don't think he will come back again, last time we broke up he said he was probably making the biggest mistake of his life, this time there was none of that and it sounded pretty final... although the same line rings in my head as he said it at both break ups... I love you and always will but it's not enough for me..... |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 9/7/2009 9:36 PM BST
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Total posts: 9224
First post: 1/10/2006 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
Hi Confused Haven Hols may be good for kids but you need to do adult activities - I would love go to Brussels! Just remembered I've been to Belgium. You have to be strong for yourself and not give in to his demands. He has to be stable in his life to be in a relationship. He is probably emotionally a bit unstable so will need professional help to try and sort his life out. It is not you or your fault - people who behave like they don't respect people have a problem. Enjoy Brussels - I recommend Belgian pommes frites - lovely and of course chocs! |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 10/7/2009 7:38 AM BST
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Total posts: 13
First post: 6/7/2009 Last post: 12/7/2009 |
He definitely needs to sort that head of his, his ex wife is getting married today and we were invited to the wedding reception tonight so i hope he goes and sees how happy she is and realises what he has lost with me. It's very difficult to comprehend what he has done to me again and that he wasn't willing to save the relationship as it was a relationship worth saving. I had no say in the relationship ending. I was on my guard for a while when we got back together as i was always thinking is he going to do it again and when i gradually stopped worrying it all goes wrong but i know it's not my fault and that it's him. I did all i could to in the relationship and it's a shame he didn't do the same. MEN! We don't run in the same circles so there is no chance of us seeing each other and he lives about 30 mins away from me which is good. I know there is a part of me that will always love him but i need to stop being IN love with him which i know will take a little bit of time.... it sucks! haha. |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 11/7/2009 10:44 AM BST
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Total posts: 13
First post: 6/7/2009 Last post: 12/7/2009 |
Well feeling rather rubbish today, been doing so well since last week. Think it's a mixture of the situation with the ex and work getting me down even though i've been getting my head stuck in with work, although thinking of changing jobs soon. Been crying most of the morning and i know i shouldn't be especially over an idiot like my ex. I hate feeling like this and i DON'T want to feel like this but im quite an emotional person anyway.. i just miss him and i know he doesn't deserve that from me... how can i stop feeling like this? |
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Re: Advice needed
posted at 11/7/2009 12:05 PM BST
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Total posts: 9224
First post: 1/10/2006 Last post: 25/11/2009 |
Hi Confused Its not easy when your exs ex get married but you have to be strong for yourself and not let things slide. You have to focus on your own life and live it. It really hurts when a relationship is split but he has to learn lessons as well - its not just you. Enjoy the day the best you can. |
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