Have sex? We've only just met!

It's tricky to know if there is ever a right time to have sex with someone for the first time. The question is, should you wait or just go for it?

Whether you call it hiding the salami, parking the pink Cadillac, or porking, sometimes you just know it's the right time to have sex. But just what exactly makes it the right time? Laughing together? Having a ring on your finger? Or those raging hormones?

If it's just a wild night of rumpy-pumpy you're after, moral dilemmas may cloud your vision for a nano-second. Then it's likely that you'll just go ahead and ride that baloney pony anyway (using a condom, of course).

Tingle-tastic
But when it comes down to it, for your first night of parking the beef bus in tuna town, there's nothing worse than having to fumble around looking for a condom. Even if you're on the pill or using other contraception, condoms are always a good idea with a new person. Although now condoms are not just for protection, but also for fun sensations. Try tingle-tastic Durex Mint Tingle (the spearmint lubrication creates a gentle tingling sensation for both partners), and the first polyurethane condom – Durex Avanti – for a really natural feeling. Condoms like Durex Her Sensation (with specially positioned ribs to tickle your fancy) are beginning to blur the boundaries between contraception and sex toys.

But condoms aside, timing is everything and deciding when to jump his bones is not a race to the finish line. You may not want to consider it on the first date or the second, or even until you've both said 'I do'.

Of course, if something more permanent is on your mind, how long should you wait? It's common to give the green light to a French wrestling match once you know you're in an exclusive relationship that has long-term potential, with someone who understands you. It's much easier to let loose the first time you play hide and seek with the trouser snake if all the basic relationship work has been done in advance. While there are no hard-and-fast rules, men and women often go through subconscious checklists and, as usual, male and female brains do tend to have very different takes on the pre-sex situation.

Getting jiggy
Women often think something like: 'How long should I wait before stuffing the monkey with someone new?' While for guys it's more likely to be: 'How soon can I get a roll in the hay with my new partner?' Obviously, the 'right time' between two consenting adults varies with every relationship. But get jiggy on your first date and you'll probably get more than you bargained for (especially if you don't use a condom). Whatever you do, make sure he knows that you value your sexual health before you go for it. And apart from the dangers of unwanted pregnancy and STDs, another surprising reason for waiting, is that your brain chemistry is out to get you. The culprit is the 'love drug' oxytocin, which is released during orgasm in men and women and bonds a couple each time they make love. It's easier to assess the relationship when you're not doped up to the eyeballs on oxytocin. Also by waiting, you're sending a message that a horizontal tango with you is something special.

Love that life-saving latex!
In the AIDS era, it's plain stupid for a bloke to complain that he hates using condoms and that putting the monster in the cave with one on doesn't feel right. He'd better learn to love that life-saving latex! Or close the door behind him on his way out. The nightmare road to being HIV positive often starts by getting gonorrhea, chlamydia and/or herpes but condoms will protect you from all of those and more. Make sure you're having safe, enjoyable sex. Know your stuff. Get regular updates about safe sex from www.durex.co.uk

Slow satisfaction
In this fast-paced world, it can be easy to fast-track every aspect of a relationship. Maybe that's why a more slow-paced approach leads to more anticipation, which leads to really hot sex. All in all, the happiness of the experience is down to you being relaxed and happy with each
other – achieve that and you'll know when the time is right.

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