Who wouldn’t mind their own personal Oprah; someone they could sit down with, and help you identify your goals and life purposes, and become all Zen-like and self-actualised? This spring, seek new ways to improve your life by helping yourself, as not everyone has the cash for professional therapists and countless sessions. We asked the professionals for their trade secrets on burning issues we all have in our lives, as by being your own life coach, you can help yourself feel better and live the life you want. We show you how to develop the tools to build the life you really want to live.
Women are amazing supporters of their friends and families, but when it comes to focusing on themselves, or identifying what we like or dislike doing in our lives, women don’t always serve themselves too well. “To get more of what you want in your life, and less of the things you don’t want, the best place to be is at the ‘cause’ side of life, 100% of the time.” Says Mark Collins, NLP Master Practitioner at London’s Urban Daytox. This means bringing about self-empowerment and setting your brain in the best and most successful mindset, meaning you are willing to ‘act as if’ it’s already true, as whenever anything happens, or events take place in your world, there’s always something or someone who created it. “By putting yourself on the cause side of life in everything that you do, you’re taking those crucial steps towards success and achievement.” Says Collins.
Your problem is: ‘lacking direction in my life.’
How to help yourself: Sometimes life can feel as if you’re herding several cats; where everything seems to have no purpose or real direction. “The key to finding direction is to stop, allow yourself to get clear on what you truly want, not what you think you can have, particularly if you don’t know how to get it!” Explains Ali Campbell, author of Just Get On With it! (Hayhouse) .Then ask yourself what’s the simplest, easiest step I can take towards it right now? “Most people fail to reach their goals because they stop trying far too soon. Keep making it simple, easy and remember there’s nothing that cannot be broken down in to small, simple steps,” says Campbell.
Your problem is: ‘feeling over-loaded’
How to help yourself: Time to get literal here by putting some stuff down. Write a list of all the things on your plate right now. “You should ask yourself ‘what will happen if I do it?’ and ‘what happens if I don’t?’ You’ll be surprised at the small things we carry around in our heads when we try to optimise our lives with multiple things,” says Campbell. Take a look at your list, and decide what you can drop right now - pick the top three essentials only, and go and do them, the rest can wait for another day or another week.
Be prepared for everything that life throws at you with our essential life coach tools:
*Start by asking yourself if you’re coming at these issues from the ‘cause’ side of situations, events and issues with other people, or the ‘effect’ side of situations? People who operate from the ‘cause’ side of things get results. We want this to be you. “Take time-out to write down everything you’ve achieved in the past year. You’ll see that those times you got the results you wanted, you were coming from a place of the ‘cause’ side of things, as you were then the master of your own universe,” says Collins.
*Get a healthy sense of perspective on the situation by stepping back. “Prioritise, think about what needs to be done first and focus on one thing at a time,” says Chartered Psychologist Graham W Price, author of What Is, Is! The Power of Positive Acceptance.
*Have the confidence to set goals and work towards them. Start by making a commitment, and if the goal is challenging, make a promise to yourself and others that you’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it.
*Don’t waste time and energy wishing the situation was already different, just focus on what you need to do to make it different.
*Fear sabotages our dreams; it keeps us stuck in one place. Work with this by simply regarding it as energy and write down all of your fears. “Focus on one fear at a time, as you do so, notice where you feel it within your body, as what you’re experiencing is the stuck energy of fear,” explains Dr Mark Atkinson, medical doctor, author of True Happiness-Your Complete Guide to Emotional Health. Then say to it (either in your head or out loud), ‘soften and flow’ and get a sense of where it wishes to exit your body. “Patiently, allow all of the energy to leave, and repeat until you feel energised and balanced,” says Dr Atkinson.
Learn more about life coaching courses or find a life coach if you think you need more help and advice.
