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Homepage | LOVE & SEX | Your Life

How good are your manners?

21st century etiquette is profoundly confusing. Should you kiss on one cheek or two? Turn your mobile off at dinner or set it to 'meeting mode'? Take our fun quiz and find out whether you're a master at minding your p's and q's… or a bad-mannered madam.

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Page 1 of

1. When faced with a formal dinner setting, how many pieces of cutlery do you know how to use?

Dessert fork, parfait spoon, lobster pick, snail tongs… If you were invited to dinner with the Queen you'd be the one showing up HER table etiquette.

You know the difference between a teaspoon and a soup spoon and can bluff your way through everything else.

The only fancy cutlery you know how to use is the pair of chopsticks that comes with your takeaway chop suey.

2. How long does it usually take you to respond to an email from a friend?

Seconds.

An hour or two.

Weeks, months… sometimes years.

3. You're angry at someone. Fuming, in fact. You are so livid you are preparing to use a vulgar word to describe the depth of your fury. You open your enraged mouth, summon all your anger, and positively spit out the most profane phrase you can muster…

'Cripes!'

'Arsey arse arse'.

'Bleep - bleep - bleep'.

4. There's a woman at your gym who consistently uses the treadmill for longer than her allocated fifteen minute slot. How do you approach her about it?

You'd rather speak to someone at reception about her blatant disregard for gymnasium regulations.

You engage her in lighthearted conversation, dropping in a casual, 'By the way, not sure if you're aware but the time limit on the treadmill is…'

You tap her on the shoulder mid-tread to tell her that her flouting of the rules is totally inconsiderate and while you're at it, that Westlife song she's always humming is driving you crazy.

5. Unsurprisingly, there's a long queue for the tube. When it arrives you…

Let others off the tube first, wait for most of England to get on, then scramble on yourself in the nick of time.

Stand aside for mothers with children and the disabled, and then 'excuse me… sorry… ' your way onto the train.

Elbow as many people as possible out of your way so as not to miss it.

Continue

Page 2 of

1. You've received a lovely gift from an aunt. You thanked her at the time, but you wonder if such a thoughtful gesture deserves something more, so you…

Send her a handmade card reiterating how grateful you are and asking her to join you for lunch.

Send her a handmade card reiterating how grateful you are.

What? You said thanks, didn't you? The old biddy barely remembers your name, let alone whether you made her a card or not.

2. Your mobile phone rings during a DVD evening with friends. What do you do?

Switch the phone off mid-ring, apologising to your friends for the interruption.

Quickly answer it saying you'll call back once the movie is over.

Pause the DVD, answer the phone, pour another glass of wine and have a conversation.

3. For whom of the following would you give up your seat on the bus?

Anybody who looks like they could use the seat more than you do.

You're selective, but the list includes pregnant women, the elderly, and mums with kids in tow.

Only those who look like they might stab you if you don't.

4. Your work colleague is looking suspiciously young, full of lip and high of brow. You suspect she may have paid a recent visit to Harley Street. Do you congratulate her on her new look?

Absolutely not. Judging by her curiously large sunglasses and sudden interest in headscarves, she'd be mortified if you mentioned it.

No – but you do greet her with a chirpy 'I can't help but notice how gorgeous you're looking… ' at morning tea in the hope she might reveal all.

Yes – and then you email her asking for the number of her plastic surgeon and a price list if she's got one.

5. What's your worst habit? (Be honest)

Leaving dirty undies on the floor of the bathroom?

Belching after a particularly satisfying meal?

Picking your nose

Submit

Page of : Result

Prim and Proper

You're scrupulously well-mannered and concerned with how you present to others. You're the type who won awards at school for good handwriting rather than came home with a bloody nose and scuffed shoes. In fact, your tendency to avoid conflict can sometimes make you feel like you're bottling up your true feelings. Truth and manners aren't mutually exclusive… speak up every now and then!

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Pleasant and Polite

You're not a complete stickler for manners but you can cope in a fancy restaurant and you're probably a dab hand at remembering people's names at a party. A vulgar word might pass your lips from time to time but you hold the elevator doors open for little old ladies and feed the neighbour's cat when she's away. 'A' for effort.

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Potty-mouthed piglet

You're so uncivilised you're verging on being mistaken for a cave woman. You wouldn't think twice about gossiping loudly to a friend while you're at the flicks or turning up late for a family birthday dinner - rules are made to be broken. On the plus side, you are confident and self-assured, unabashedly irreverent and interesting to be around. It's full marks for being brave enough to stand up for what you believe in, but an 'E' for etiquette.