Roughly 50 years ago, when men worked full time, the majority had housewives - someone to cook, do domestic admin, clean and provide emotional support at the end of the day. Women nowadays, whether with children are not, are essentially doing what men were doing but without the support. The result? Shattered women!
Technology advances have meant that the average modern day woman takes in more information in one day than the average person did in a life time just over a hundred years ago. The result? Brain overload on a biblical scale.
Add in the fact that the recession means many women are trying to do the job of two people, working through lunch, leaving work late - often feeling like they can’t say no for fear of losing their job. The result? Stress levels (and sadness levels for that matter) are increasing tenfold.
To cope, women are reaching for stimulants, craving sugar, blocking things out and feeling low, de-motivated and more than ever, women are less and less in control of who they are and what they do – hardly the aim of feminism and the liberation of women.
Is it that women today have no more choice about going to work than our grandmothers did about being housewives – it’s true, isn’t it? If you want a nice flat, nice clothes, a social life, you have to work. And women who don’t work? Aren’t they thought of as weak or gold diggers?
So what are our options? Well, I am a single parent to three-year-old twins and run my own business. Do I want to give up my work and be a house wife? Of course not (well, okay sometimes it crosses my mind). I love being ambitious and passionate about something I care about and I do love my chaotic life but I manage my modern mayhem and I am 100% in control of what I do and that is real liberation, forget burning your bras!
My top five Hamster Wheeling tips are:
• Be more effective at work. Things like only checking emails three to four times a day instead of every three to four minutes will help massively, creating a to-do list before you have checked emails, prioritizing task lists and also categorizing how much you enjoy tasks too. Tackle priorities first, then get the stuff you don’t like done. Give yourself a time target so that you know when you need to complete a task – since having twins I can get eight hours work done in four hours!
• Create space - At least once a day you need 15 minutes of golden time. No phones, Facebook, work, contact with others. Go for a walk, sit in the quiet – allow yourself to just be, it will give your brain the chance to unwind and unravel things. Cancel any social functions or ignore calls from anyone you have no interest in seeing or speaking to - try it, it is the best feeling ever and it gives you so much more time to be with who you really want to be with.
• Create a daily worry dump - Write absolutely everything down that is worrying you – from the big to the small. Next to each bullet, write whether you can do something about it or can’t. If you can’t, stop worrying about it, if you can, write three to five things on what you could do to get that out of your life. Do this every day and your anxiety levels should decrease substantially.
• Create your BE/HAVE/DO list - Write down everything you want to be, have and do in the next three, six and 12 months. Then just set out to do them – this is one of the most fantastic exercises to give you a bit of ‘project me’ focus. It also means you have things to look forward to and that work isn’t the be all and end all of your life.
• Project plan downtime - How many of you slump on the sofa at 8pm, are on Facebook, watching Eastenders, messaging people and doing this multi-tasking again and again? People hardly have hobbies anymore, the main reason why? Time. Monday could be a movie and duvet night, Wednesday reading a book, Thursday cooking a new meal night and so on. Try creating internet free nights – hard at first but you then do realize how much time you waste on not doing much at all!
Finally around all of modern day mayhem is mindset – why is it some people respond to stress and workload in different ways? Because of their mindset, that’s all. Mindset can be learnt and it is the most powerful force on the planet, yet something so many women don’t realize is the key to a healthier, happier life.
Janey Holliday, the body and brains behind Fit For A Princess runs an online Hamster Wheeling boot camp course aimed at helping women manage modern day mayhem.
The course starts on Monday 27 February and ends on Thursday 6 April with over 25 hours of webinars and live online Q and A sessions, access to a private forum that Janey will be on daily and access to all replays for life.
Handbag.com readers have a 25% discount on this course, meaning it is just £149 for the entire program.
Visit fitforaprincess.co.uk to find out more and watch a free webinar on what to expect on the Hamster Wheeling boot camp and to get stacks of free top tips on how to manage modern day mayhem.
Janey’s motto is ‘You get one life, better live it well’
