The regulator
The regulator keeps people on track. They make sure that social norms are obeyed and no offences are perpetrated. They lay down the law, defend the rights of individuals and make sure the rules are followed. It's the regulator who will assign roles to people to share the burden, or tell someone they have had enough to drink. They often see themselves as the head of the family. The flipside of the regulator is the dictator, emerging when the regulator feels ignored or ridiculed. The dictator passes judgement, makes up rules as they go along and insists that things have to be done in a certain way, often without rationale or explanation. In particular, dictators clash with the livewire's rebelliousness and appetite for mischief. If you are a regulator, consider:
• The best rules and regulations are created collaboratively, and therefore accepted by the group. Harsh enforcement leads to unrest and sometimes outright rebellion – it's best to employ justice and mercy in equal measure.
• Explain why the rules are there, don't assume people will simply understand why they exist.
• While some structure is important, people need flexibility – be adaptable.

The helper
The helper will do anything for anybody. They have a strong desire to support, lend a hand and make Christmas as pleasing as possible for others. They draw their self-worth from the support they provide and love seeing others happy. However, if the helper feels undervalued or taken advantage of, the martyr emerges. The martyr still helps, but feels bitter and imposed upon. The helper has a variable relationship with the guest. The helper enjoys caring for the guest, but sometimes can feel used by them. If you are a helper, consider:
• Be clear about the boundaries of what you are prepared to do.
• Enjoy supporting others, but don't rely on them to be appreciative.
• Ask if your help is needed.
• As soon as you feel that others are beginning to take advantage, make it clear that they need to recognise your support.

The peacemaker
The primary role of the peacemaker is creating harmony, seeing Christmas as a time for togetherness and understanding. Peacemakers do this by either avoiding an issue or attempting to resolve it. They smooth ruffled feathers, restore order and mediate in family peace talks. Surprisingly, the dysfunctional side of the peacemaker can be triggered by the absence of tension or conflict. In these instances the peacemaker can become the meddler, asking uncomfortable personal questions and raking up subjects that long ago lost their combustibility. If you are a peacemaker, consider the following:
• Help people resolve their own tension, rather than solving it for them.
• Not all issues are worth resolving – sometimes resolution can feel like picking at old wounds.
• Be patient with those who like a good fight. Try to focus on moving on from an argument.
• Be careful not to mollycoddle people.
• Let others solve their problems – with your help, perhaps – but be wary not to create a dependency.

The star of the show
Attention is the name of the game for the star of the show. Keeping people entertained, telling stories and using humour are ways this star shines. The star adds a lively spirit and a sense of fun to Christmas. If the star doesn't get the attention they need, the prima donna appears. At this point, everything becomes a problem, whether it is an uncomfortable bed or the wrong food. If you are a star of the show, consider the following:
• Recognise that attention is bestowed in return for something – think about what you can do to help move the spotlight towards you.
• Give yourself a role that will provide some sort of attention. This could be anything from head chef to distributor of presents.
• Remember, the best stars are seen frequently, but are not ever-present. Give others the opportunity to shine.