No matter how happy you are for the bride and groom, weddings represent something of a social assault course. Large formal gatherings combined with copious amounts of alcohol offer manifold opportunities to cock up. And that's without family feuds, impossible relatives and oversexed ushers. However, a few simple rules will get you through even the most trying occasion with social honours.
Dress appropriately
What you wear to someone's wedding may haunt you for decades to come. White and off white are off limits, as is black, skin tight, see-through, micro mini, very low cut and revealing. Keep your fantastic legs and awesome bosom to yourself - the bride won't thank you for drawing everyone's attention to them on the day or in her photographs, which she will have for the rest of her life.
Steer clear of fashion statements and anything too dramatic/ outrageous/attention-grabbing, as you will you look as though you are trying to upstage the bride. Also remember that what is ultra fashionable now could look comical in a few years' time and you don't want to be the person everyone laughs at when the bride whips out her wedding album in future. Be inspired by our favourite celebrity wedding guest outfits
Don't get drunk
Alcohol is the root of much mayhem. Resist the temptation to chuck down a couple of glasses to get you in the mood. You are far more likely to say something regrettable or embarrassing. Force yourself to take the soft option for the welcome drink, pace yourself during the meal and alternate two soft drinks to one alcoholic in the evening if you are even slightly more than tipsy at any point.
Remember whose day it is
Remember that it is the bride's special day and act accordingly. Tell her she looks lovely even if she is made up to look like Coco the Clown and wearing the equivalent of a spangled circus tent. Say nice things about the venue, the service, the reception, the food etc, regardless of what you really think and who is asking. The happy couple want everything to be as close to perfect as possible, so pretend it is, and, anyway, there is no such thing as a safe bitching session at a wedding - you never who is listening and who it will get back to.
If you have recently married or are planning your wedding, don't give in to the urge to make comparisons. No one really wants to know how you did/will do things differently. By all means make mental notes, but share them with your groom or your bridesmaids afterwards.
Avoid attention-grabbing behaviour
Someone else's wedding is not the place to propose to your boyfriend, have a massive row or perfect your Christina Aguilera impression. Bear in mind the attitudes and social mores of the older generations. Copping off with a fellow guest may be one of the perks of being invited, but don't snog anywhere near the wedding party - older people will be embarrassed, if not downright offended.
Restraint is the key to behaving well. It may be traditional for there to be a fight at a wedding, but the bride will not thank you for starting it. Walk away from conflict or confrontation. When the malicious old battleaxe asks very loudly why you haven't got a boyfriend/married yet/children, smile sweetly and resist the urge to tell her to mind her own bleeding business. Give a concise, non-committal response (such as "we'll have to see what the future holds") and immediately ask her a question. People love talking about themselves and it will take the heat off you.
Follow these guidelines and while you may not have a wild time, you won't end up in social Siberia, either.
See our favourite celebrity wedding guest outfits
