A simple event like a conversation is actually an incredibly complicated process containing many opportunities for failure. This is partly because listeners don't just respond to the words we speak – they're actually more sensitive to the tone of voice we are using. Strangely enough, a boring message delivered enthusiastically will be better received than an interesting message delivered in a dull way.

This means that projecting a positive, professional image involves considering not only what you are saying, but also how you are saying it. It's also vital to create rapport with the other person so that they will really take notice of your message.

Make your point
To communicate effectively, you first need to anticipate how your listener(s) will respond to what you are saying. A common error is to assume that they have the same understanding of the subject, the same objectives and the same interests or priorities as you. The approach you take and the words you use should depend on who you are communicating with.

For example, you need to:
Point out how this communication is relevant or how it affects them Recognise what they already know – so you are not wasting their time Use terms that they are familiar with – don't use jargon they will not understand Avoid unnecessary repetition Express what you want to say in as few words as possible Eliminate redundant words and phrases like 'um' 'er' 'you know' and 'like'.

Relax and choose the right tone
In a matter of seconds, listeners will make up their minds about your level of confidence, professionalism and efficiency. If you're feeling anxious, they are sure to notice the tell-tale signs: strangled speech, wobbly voice, nervous gabble, tense lips. To project your voice confidently in meetings and presentations, it's important to relax by:
Adopting a balanced posture Loosening up the muscles in your neck, shoulders and jaw Taking several slow, deep breaths.

While you are speaking, your voice says a great deal about you. Here are the main things you need to think about:
Pitch – speech experts say a low pitch is desirable because it projects better and sounds more pleasant than a high-pitched squeak Inflection and tone – don't talk in a monotone, because it will be monotonous! Try to use your voice to express ideas or emotions, and practise lifting the inflection at the end of questions, while lowering it for statements Speed – the basic rate of speech is 140 words per minute. If you speak much slower than that your listeners will start to glaze over; if you speak a lot faster you will make them feel stressed!

Creating rapport
Rapport is an essential basis for successful communication. It is the quality of harmony, recognition and mutual acceptance that exists between people when they are at ease with one another.

In general, we gravitate towards people whom we believe are similar to us; we like people who are like ourselves. Therefore, to communicate confidently and successfully, it's useful to emphasise the similarities and minimise the differences between ourselves and other people. Colleagues and customers are likely to respond to you positively if you are able to communicate in a manner that matches their own.

When you are speaking to someone face to face, you can put people at ease by subtly mirroring their posture, gestures or body orientation. When you are on the telephone, on the other hand, all you have is your voice. You will create rapport if you can match the speed, rhythm and tone of the other person's speech patterns. If they talk rapidly, avoid speaking in a slow, laid-back manner. Similarly, try to moderate your own tone if the other person is very softly spoken.

When you have started to establish rapport, you can try to encourage the person to mirror aspects of your own speech and state of mind. It's common sense, really. If your words are upbeat and you put a smile in your voice, you are more likely to get a similar, positive response.

Establishing empathy
Empathising means communicating your understanding of what someone is saying to you from their own frames of reference, rather than from yours. The other person's view of the world may well differ from your own. You need to be able not only to recognise this, but also to try to see things from his or her perspective. With this insight you stand a better chance of building rapport – and of getting your listeners on your side.

One way of communicating empathy is to pick out the emotional overtones of a statement and reflect them back. Here is an example:

Statement: "Three staff left last month and I'm having to work overtime to catch up. Now the boss is on my back because there's been an increase in customer complaints."
Response: "It sounds as though you're feeling overwhelmed with problems at the moment."

Another technique is to say what you would feel in a similar situation.

Statement: "My partner was ill and I had to take him to hospital. So Karen took charge of the department and lost all last month's receipts."

Response: "I can imagine how irritated you must have been."

The skills of empathy do not come naturally to most people; in situations like those above, the temptation is often to jump in with a judgement or some off-the-cuff advice. However, with time, patience and practise it is possible to improve our ability to concentrate totally on what the other person is saying or feeling. The main benefits are that it will help you to develop a closer and more open relationship with the people you work with. This means that you will be able to communicate more effectively with them and they will perceive you in a more positive light.

Your voice is a powerful medium – use it badly and it will stop you getting where you want to go. If, on the other hand, you are prepared to develop all your communication skills – your voice, your tone and your ability to get on with others – this will help you to achieve your work objectives and your career goals.

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