Forget Sex And The City; think instead Sexism and the City, and in plenty of other industries, too. In workplaces across the UK women are being unfairly treated just because they are women. And yes, this is despite such practices being outlawed for more than a generation. If you yourself face inequality, what can be done to combat it?
Start by recognising what is, and what is not, acceptable behaviour. This is more complex than it sounds. Clearly, being overlooked or underpaid because you are female is wrong. Being dismissed or demoted because you are pregnant is wrong. Being sexually harassed, to any extent, is wrong. But what about those more innocuous and insidious incidents - the crude joke, the pornographic email, the salacious snigger, the leering look, the patronising tone, the derogatory put-down. 'All of this is out of order and illegal,' insists Caroline Slocock, chief executive of the Equal Opportunities Commission. 'You don't have to put up with any of it.'
Putting this theory into practice is, of course, easier said than done. Most of us in this position tend to think, 'Oh my God, do I really want to take this on?' We see it, rightly, as a big deal and fear that anything we do will make it bigger still.
So, what is the solution? Anne Dickson, author of Women At Work: Strategies For Survival And Success, proposes one. 'Learn the art of treading lightly in a heavy situation.' This involves various steps. First, see the discrimination not as an overwhelming problem but as a specific issue. Second, pick a suitable time to address this issue in private with your colleague, manager or union representative. Finally, deliver what you have to say in three parts – what you find objectionable, how it makes you feel and what you want to see changed. For example:
'I don't like it when you repeatedly interrupt me in meetings. It makes me feel as though you do not respect what I have to contribute. I would like to find a way of avoiding this in future.'
'I have noticed that since returning from maternity leave I have been given less senior clients to deal with. This makes me feel as though my skills are not trusted. I'd like to discuss how I can start working to my full capacity again.'
'You often raise my private life in public. That makes me feel quite self-conscious. I would prefer you not to draw attention to me like that again.'
'You do sometimes comment on my appearance and make personal gestures towards me. This is actually unwelcome. I'd rather our relationship stayed professional.'
'I understand my colleague, who has a similar role to myself, is now on a higher pay scale. I feel this is unfair. I want us to talk about how we can start to equalise the situation.'
During this difficult discussion it is crucial that you are neutral. Do your utmost to stay calm, composed and co-operative, and under no circumstances fall into the trap of casting him as villain and you as victim. 'If you take the high moral ground,' says Anne Dickson, 'you leave the other person with no choice but to assume the low moral ground. They will then feel under attack and will defend themselves. Before you know it, the two of you are in battle. And in battle no one listens.'
But what if, no matter what you say, and no matter how carefully you say it, you are still not heard? You may want to persist in trying to change the situation, but this time with the help of the law. To quote the 17th-century French philosopher Charles de Montesquieu: 'In the state of nature... all people are born equal, but they cannot continue in this equality. Society makes them lose it, and they recover it only by the protection of the law.'
Anecdotal evidence suggests more women are suing their employers for sex discrimination. But while this may be becoming less rare, it is not necessarily becoming more easy. 'The process is still complicated, sometimes painful and often stressful,' cautions Clare Murray, an employment lawyer with the legal firm Fox Williams. 'You have to diligently collate evidence and you ought to find a yourself a reliable witness. Then you must go through a hearing itself, which can take up to three to five days. After that comes the wait to find out what is decided.'
On top of all this there is the expense of the process which doesn't, of course, have any guarantee of success.
Those who know all stress that combating sexism is hard work. Jane Barrett, principal of the career coaching consultancy www.workmaze.com, offers some uplifting advice. 'Look at what other women have achieved and tell yourself you, too, are striving for something important. Remind yourself that in defending your rights, you are defending the rights of all women.'
For more information call the Equal Opportunities Helpline on 0845 601 5901 or visit the EOC website.
