Finding and using a role model
Having a role model is a way of developing the skills you need to achieve your goals. If other people are succeeding at something that you would like to do, why struggle to discover the secret of success all by yourself? It's fascinating to learn from other people's lives – and you can even learn a lot from their mistakes!
What makes a good role model?
A role model is a person you watch closely to see how she or he deals with different people, situations and problems. Your model could either be someone with exceptional ability and skills or a more modest achiever.
Potential role models are all around you. Your own may be famous people, living or dead, or they may be people you work with, friends, or even members of your family. Film star Halle Berry uses her own mother, Judith Hawkins, as a role model. 'Work hard and they can't deny you,' Judith told her daughter. 'You're going to have to do better than anyone else. Look on that as a challenge.'
A colleague of mine admires Marie Curie, the scientist who discovered radium and polonium. 'She was a model of complete determination, somehow negotiating whatever barriers she encountered and learning from them. She showed that you shouldn't let anyone or anything stop you from achieving what you want.' One of my own role models is Dawn, an ex-boss who worked hard, made time to listen and laughed a lot. Another is the Dalai Lama, who teaches that there's no point in worrying too much, because nothing really matters, anyway!
Finding a role model
To find your role models, think about the people you admire or would like to emulate. Your role model can be anyone you like – a celebrity, a historical figure, a business colleague or the woman next door.
The important thing is to consider not just what they've achieved, but how they've achieved these things. In other words it's not enough to say, 'I long to be like Rachel in Friends,' or, 'I want to become an entrepreneur like Anita Roddick.' The trick is to try to analyse what it is about their attitudes or behaviour that you really value. What motivates them? How do they deal with problems? How do they relate to people?
So how do you use a role model?
The idea is to learn from watching what your role model does, and then copy this behaviour or learn similar skills. You can make progress towards your own dream by unravelling the individual actions that have led to your role model's success and identifying the ones that relate to you. There is a small health warning, though. What has worked for one person is not always a strict formula for someone else's success. You have to apply what they have done to your particular situation and to your individual needs.
Working with a mentor
In some cases your role model will be willing to act as a mentor; advising, encouraging and talking things through with you. It's not all one-sided because the mentor also benefits because he or she is acquiring skills in developing people within the organisation.
You can benefit in many important ways from having a mentor. He or she may be able to pass on useful tips, help you to solve problems, put you in contact with the right people or open doors for you. The purpose is to build your confidence and to fill you with enthusiasm and energy. Your own mentor could be a colleague in your department or a friend who understands what you are trying to achieve. He or she must be someone you trust, can talk to easily and is willing to use her or his time on your behalf.
It's important to think about the kind of support you want from your mentor. This will depend to a great extent on your own preferred approach to learning. For example, some people like to be self-motivated, while others need a tough progress-chaser who pushes them if they slacken off. The onus is on you to ask for help when you need it and to negotiate with your mentor for the sort of assistance that you require.
Learning for life
As children, we learn by watching others and by trying things out for ourselves. This process doesn't stop, even when we get older: we are all constantly learning as we experience life and work. One of the best things about a role model or mentor is that they can help focus and direct the growth of our natural abilities so that we can unlock our untapped potential.
