Ever felt that by excelling in your career you are envied rather than appreciated? If you have, you are not alone. Job jealousy surrounds us, according to a recent survey. The recruitment consultancy Office Angels found that one in five employees wants to purloin the position of another. The result, as you may well know, can be that a colleague may try to cut you down every time you try to rise up. But it needn't be like this. We show you how to stop these success-slayers.
To begin with, get inside the head of the jealous and try to understand their thinking. Could they be feeling resentment towards your promotion or your popularity or your polish? Might they be feeling threatened by what you do and how you do it? Is there something deeper? Beverly Stone, psychologist and head of the consultancy Group Dynamics International, offers the following guidance. 'Realise that they may perceive work to be a competition with only one winner. If they see you winning, they may see themselves losing, and the only way to push themselves forward is to hold you back.'
Once you appreciate the thoughts behind job jealousy, try to identify the actions it can lead to. Judi James, co-author of the career guide The Tall Poppy, says 'these can be anything from the petty to the serious'. So, an important phone message may be 'forgotten', a piece of must-have information may be 'misplaced' and a standard invite to a conference is 'accidentally' not issued. There can be a sharp increase in task-impeding 'easy favours' and 'short interruptions'. More blatantly, your work may be unduly criticised, your suggestions mocked, and your achievements reclaimed. And it can turn from the professional to the personal. Something about your appearance may be openly slated or an aspect of your private life may be secretly gossiped over.
Having recognised the nature of job jealousy, you can now move to counter it. There are tactics you can apply to yourself and to others. 'When it comes to yourself you have various options,' says Imogen Haslam, an advisor with the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. Some of them are obvious, but they are no less effective for it. Check that you are not being over-boastful, as no one likes this. To be sure, next time you feel like taking pride in your progress, as you are entitled to, do it in your own time with your own friends. Also, develop a thick skin, as this will give you some protection from that emerald-eyed office monster. Try to focus on what's important and ignore the rest as immaterial. Finally, maintain your own standards. Remember that rising to someone's bait or dropping to their level will make you, and the situation, worse, not better.
So, those are the tactics you can apply to yourself. As for others, well, these are rather more difficult and potentially scary. 'You may need to be brave,' acknowledges Maria Hemming of Omega Career Coaching International. To start with, initiate a conversation that is light and open. In a moment when it is relatively quiet and you are fairly calm, try: 'Do you have a second? It's just that there's something on my mind and I think it might be helpful to discuss it. Won't take long.' If you are refused, ask: 'Do you know when would be a better time?' If you are refused again, offer: 'I understand you are busy; I'll try to catch you when it seems more convenient.' Persist. When you have their attention say something to the effect of: 'Well, I don't know about you, but I feel as though there's some sort of tension between us; is everything all right or is there something you'd like us to talk through.' If the reply is essentially, 'I don't know what you're talking about,' go along the lines of: 'Oh, well, maybe I was mistaken and I'm glad, because I want us to be able to work well together. If, in the future, you do find that you want to raise anything with me, just let me know. Okay?' Note that this question at the end concludes your discussion on a positive note, or, at least, gives the impression of doing so; crucially, this allows you both to walk away with some semblance of dignity.
If this one-to-one doesn't lead to an improvement, you will have brace yourself to become more assertive still. Try: 'There are times when you do X. You may not mean to and I'm not sure if you realise it, but this actually makes it difficult for me to work effectively; in future could you please do Y instead. Is that all right?' Again, pay heed to close on a face-saving question.
And if the job jealousy continues to persist? 'Then you need to get official,' says Nick Isles, an associate director of the Work Foundation, an organisation that lobbies for a better workplace culture in Britain. As a manager this means taking disciplinary action. As an individual it means lodging a complaint with your manager, or, if you must, your manager's manager. It will take time for this process to resolve itself. It will take longer still to re-establish any sense of trust and rapport. But stay professional, and true to yourself, and in one way or another you will see a way through. Let's just hope that doesn't raise the ire of anyone else.
