We may not realise it, but we are negotiating every day; with colleagues, customers, suppliers, shop assistants - we even negotiate with family and friends. And yet over 70% of professionals have no formal negotiations training – this amounts to a lot of lost revenue and missed opportunities!
What's it all about?
Many negotiation courses focus on tactics (or tricks of the trade), the purpose of which are to get the most from the other party. The outcome is most often a win-lose situation. The problem with using tactics in negotiation is that one party will often go away feeling that they have lost too much in the deal to consider doing business with the other party again – fine if you're selling a car, not so great if you're trying to establish a relationship with a supplier.
However, The Negotiation Academy - Europe focuses on a principle-centred approach, using the Negotiating To Win More methodology, which aims at a 'win more-win more' result, with both parties, ideally, benefiting from the negotiations.
Why I went
Whenever I used to hear the word negotiation I thought of conflict. The word conjured up an image of high-powered executives sitting around the boardroom table or governments at loggerheads with trade unions.
I always felt as though I was 'weak' when negotiating. I gave into bullies too easily or came out of a negotiation with a bad deal just to keep everyone (except me!) happy. I would dread having to negotiate contracts with freelance journalists and other content providers. I felt I wasn't able to assert myself, and handed over the power to the person across the table.
And, I'm sad to say, I felt at a disadvantage because I'm a woman. Picture those executives at the boardroom table – are any of them women?
What I wanted to take away from the course
More confidence at the negotiating table
More power to come away with what I need from the negotiation
The ability to leave a negotiation with all parties happy with the outcome
The ability to deal with bullying or aggressive negotiators
The ability to counter tactics used by other negotiators
What was the course like?
When I arrived I was a nervous; the small group was made up of lawyers and business professionals - two of the delegates worked for the European Space Agency! I soon realised, however, that the course was just as accessible and productive to me as a journalist.
The results of an online questionnaire we completed prior to the course were fascinating - we discovered our core preferences and how they affect our negotiation style. Unsurprisingly, my preferences tended towards the emotional and relationship-based aspects of negotiations. So my challenge was to build up my skills in the objective aspects, such as profit and logistics.
Over the two-day course, we were able to develop our skills through several role-play exercises using varied case studies. Being able to practise negotiating was invaluable, and at the end of the course we were videotaped, so we could really examine our negotiating styles.
We learned how to develop our thinking in order to have a more rounded approach to negotiations, and how to build a team of negotiators made up of a balance of negotiating styles. Areas covered included a whole-brain approach to negotiation , body language, how to use and counter power in negotiations, and how to create common ground. We were given valuable tips and advice, and questions were encouraged throughout the course.
What's their advice for women who have to negotiate?
Calum Coburn of The Negotiation Academy - Europe says,
"In our experience, there is no difference in capability between men and women in their ability to negotiate. Despite this, we do hear many women say that they feel a need to achieve more than a man to gain the same reward and recognition (see article: Women and Negotiation).
Some women feel that they need to negotiate harder than men to win. You may be interested to read that our brains are in fact wired somewhat differently. Generally speaking, women are better at holistic thinking, making comparatively more simultaneous mental connections than men - great for creative brainstorming (yes, there is now hard science backing up why women are better at multi-tasking).
Men by contrast are better at concentrated single minded focus - great for staying with an issue until it is resolved. Put them together, and you reap the rewards of synergising an innovative thinker with a value driven task master. Neither is better, both are essential."
The results
Since attending The Negotiation Academy – Europe's Negotiation Skills Best Practice Training Course I have learnt to regard negotiations as a challenge that can bring parties together to achieve the best result for everyone. I'm much more positive and have a lot more confidence – and I don't assume that one party has to lose out in a successful negotiation.
I can honestly say that I achieved the objectives I set for myself. I was really surprised by how confident I felt about future negotiations - I even felt my general confidence was boosted! As well as all the fascinating things I learnt about styles of thinking and ways to deal with people, I got a real insight into how I interact with others. A must for anyone who has to negotiate at work, whatever their profession!
I attended The Negotiation Academy – Europe's Negotiation Skills Best Practice Training Course. To find out more about training courses at The Negotiation Academy - Europe visit http://www.negotiationeurope.com/, email http://www.negotiationeurope.com/contact.html/ or telephone (0) 8451 298 554
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