Like it or not, your boss is one of the most important people in your life. Second only to that with your family or partner, this relationship can have a big impact on your happiness. Getting along with your boss can do more than give you a good reason for getting up in morning; it can boost your confidence, make the dreariest of jobs seem interesting and open up exciting new career possibilities.
But forming a good relationship with your boss is a complex business. It's definitely not about grovelling at her feet, telling her how wonderful she is. As occupational psychologist Anna Leech of Pearn Kandola, points out, sometimes it can be about challenge. 'Instead of just going along with things, suggest different ways of working. Just remember to do it in an adult way. Instead of criticising, make her think it was her idea, using open questions such as 'Have you thought about…?' or 'What do you think about…?'
A little praise won't go amiss, of course, but avoid being sickly sweet. The key is to be specific, says professional coach Blaire Palmer of Optimum Coaching. 'Tell them how well you think a particular project worked or that you appreciate the fact their door is always open.' And choose your moment wisely; offering up your appreciation in front of your colleagues is unlikely to win you friends.
Good timing is also crucial when promoting your skills and expertise. Bragging about your achievements around the office or hogging airspace at meetings will do little for your popularity – with your boss or your colleagues. Any self-promotion needs to take place in an appropriate context, such as during an appraisal or one-to-one meeting with your boss.
If you are managing a team, you may wish to give your boss a regular progress report, highlighting any significant achievements, as this can reflect on your leadership skills, but avoid boasting and choose a suitable context to share your news. 'Focus on the work rather than getting noticed, and you'll be sure to impress,' says Ms Palmer. 'Bosses value employees who take responsibility, follow things through and meet deadlines. If you do this, you won't need to try so hard.'
Taking the time to get to know your boss can also pay dividends – particularly in those sensitive situations, such as asking for a pay rise, promotion or additional training. How does your boss like to communicate? E-mail, voicemail or an informal chat when you drop by their office? Does your boss prefer formal meetings or spontaneous discussions? Does she prefer to see things on paper before committing herself? Asking yourself these questions should help you plan a successful approach.
It may sound obvious, but it is important to act like an adult. 'Too many people are apologetic about asking for more money or a promotion,' says Ms Leech. 'Others whine, beg or act like a complaining child. If you take on the "child" role, your boss may take on the "parental" role and withdraw privileges, making you worse off than when you started.'
'To get a promotion, you have to demonstrate that you are doing over and above what is expected of you,' adds Ms Palmer. 'That means having a good case prepared and being able to provide concrete examples of what you've influenced or achieved in the company – without seeming arrogant. If you can do this successfully, you're bound to be onto a winner.'
