If networking is the secret ingredient of success, why is it that we are often too proud or too shy to ask for this kind of help?

One answer is that some of us firmly believe successful people are all self-made and self-sufficient. We therefore feel that we have to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps and stand on our own two feet. If you've swallowed that myth, you've probably been too busy struggling alone to notice that seeking support is not a sign of weakness. It's the only route to long-term success.

Your success team
It's a sure bet that no successful woman has achieved her goals without help from others. Although yachtswoman Ellen MacArthur was alone when she sailed round the world, she was supported all the time by a huge team of skilled professionals, relatives and well-wishers. The highly respected TV personality Oprah Winfrey recognises that she would not have achieved her current status without assistance. Her advice is, "You can't do it alone - surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher." Wouldn't it be wonderful if you had your own success team like Ellen and Oprah? Well, you can.

Every time someone gives you a helping hand, they may not realise it, but they are for that moment part of your team. Just consider all the times when you achieved something worthwhile. If you passed exams at school or at university, the chances are that you had help from your teachers, from your parents or fellow students and maybe from a private tutor. You would also have read books by subject experts and obtained information from the internet. That's networking.

What about that time you lost a stone in weight or gave up smoking? Obviously no one could do it for you, but didn't you get encouragement from your mates, tips from the internet or maybe even professional support from a specialist club? So you're already a networker - you just have to get into the habit of doing it better and more often.

Better networking
Try this method of using your network to help you achieve your dreams. First, make a list of the people who are already part of your success team – the ones who support you in your everyday life and career. They will be relatives, friends, colleagues and professionals like your bank manager and solicitor. They may include authors of your favourite books or people you talk to over the Internet.

Next, write down a description of something you'd like to achieve during the next few months. Your goal could be landing a new job, gaining promotion, learning a new skill or developing your self-confidence.

Now think about all the roles you would want to have covered by the team that's going to help you arrive at your goal. These could be an ideas person, coach, financial advisor, reality checker, image consultant, cheerleader or fitness trainer. How many of these roles could be filled by people already in your network? Which of your contacts could help you to find the person you need?

As you plan your strategy for achieving your dream, think about how your contacts can help you. They can tell you about opportunities, teach you new skills, give you inside information or simply provide you with support to help you progress. It's surprisingly easy to make new allies and get doors opened – just ask and you'll be amazed at the things people will do to help.

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