'A hundred years ago women weren't supposed to like sex at all and now, if they don't do it all the time, there's something wrong with them!' So says respected sex and relationship psychologist Dr Petra Boynton. She believes that regardless of all the talk of sexual liberation nowadays, women are still very much under pressure to behave in particular ways when it comes to sex.

She has a point. It seems that what we have right now is an array of enormous dildos from adult shops for women who just can't get enough, apparently, and a view that if we're not doing it three times a day, we need to see the doctor. These overriding cultural attitudes, comments Dr Boynton, make it difficult to accept the vast range of what is 'normal' in terms of sexual desire.

'We need to acknowledge that everyone is different and the question isn't whether we are having enough sex, but are we enjoying the sex we're having and if not, how can we change that?' That means women (and men) need to start thinking about quality rather than quantity.

Instead of being tempted to see your GP for a wonder drug if you feel that you're not swinging from the chandeliers quite as much as you should be, consider whether you are contented with your sex life. Acceptance of your sexuality won't be helped by constant comparisons to other people and what they are doing in the bedroom (not that we ever really know!).

But what if you do feel like your sex life could do with improving? Before concluding that your libido is lacking, Dr Boynton advises women to investigate options such as masturbation and a real exploration of what they enjoy. She also stresses the importance of communication of your likes and dislikes with a loving partner who you trust.

Vibrators and other sex toys can certainly help women become familiar with their bodies whether alone or with a partner. 'The designs which have returned to the idea that the clitoris is important are helpful,' says Dr Boynton. 'They're great if you're not sure how to stimulate yourself or reach orgasm, or for when you're in positions that make it harder to reach the clitoris.'

Katy Jones, a 28-year-old, says 'Personally I don't know how a girl could ever live without sex toys. There is only so much an index finger can do and whether you are single or with a man they make the whole sex thing more of a hoot than it already is.'

But Katy admits that she's found the market pretty limited. It's thankful that some manufacturers such as Durex have noticed that women don't want just more of the toys that are modelled on a narrow range of designs ie super-sized male-genitalia or the pet bunny.

'We wanted to extend the sexual enhancement market and normalise sexual enhancers,' says Rosie Lodge, representative for the company. 'The Play range of vibrators (available at Superdrug) has been designed with a woman's body in mind and women have been involved with the ergonomic design right from the start.'

So, when the next dinner conversation with the girls inevitably strays to sex, try talking about what it's like to have good sex, rather than the most sex. As much as prevailing social attitudes might have us believe otherwise, there are no rights or wrongs about how often we get it - as long as it's great when we do, who cares?