Most us want to change at least one thing about our bodies, but we can't always do that – and who says life should be put on hold in the meantime? No matter what our shape and size, we all deserve a sizzling, satisfying sex life! Like most things in life, sexiness levels have a lot to do with your attitude. Start improving yours tonight with these confidence tips.
Assume the best position
If you really want to look good in bed, be clever. "Worried about your stomach? Assume the missionary position - the flesh on your stomach will flatten out, hiding your pot belly," says Jacqueline Williams, author of The Handbag Book Of Girly Love Emergencies (Ebury Press, £5.99). "And missionary doesn't have to be boring - wrap your legs around his back to draw him closer to you." If it's small breasts you're worried about, get on top - they'll automatically look bigger from where he's lying. Practise at home with mirrors if needed.
Think sexy
Been told you give great head? Maybe you know you're talented with your hands. Or perhaps it's something subtler - the way you wear high heels, or a particular expression you make that makes your partner know you want him. Now focus on what makes you feel good about yourself, and what you know he likes. Men are turned on far more by a woman uninhibited about her sexuality than one who's afraid of showing her body. Put yourself in his shoes… if you think you're sexy, you'll feel sexier and be sexier. Promise.
Lights, come on, action!
Set a sultry mood: experiment with the wonders of discreet lighting by placing candles around your bedroom. They're much more flattering and atmospheric than harsh overhead lights – everything looks better by candlelight.
Love yourself
And we don't necessarily mean a night in with Monsieur Rampant Rabbit. The sexiest people are happy with themselves, enjoy sex and know what they want – no matter what their shape. "A partner who savours the experience and loves every second of it is far more of a turn-on than someone who is supermodel-stunning but obsessing over how they look in particular positions. Know what you enjoy, accept you enjoy it and you'll boost your sex life for sure," says Emily Dubberley, sexpert and writer of Lovers' Guide: Sexplay.
Repeat, repeat, repeat
Try an affirmation – a consciously chosen statement you repeat over and over in your mind, out loud or on paper to reverse a negative belief. "Changing our thinking through affirmations can improve not only the way we feel about ourselves but the way we move through the world,' says Steve Nobel, director of Alternatives.org.uk, who suggests these affirmations for sexual confidence: 'I am a passionate and sexual woman', I am beautiful and sexy', or 'I am on fire with passion.'" And may we suggest, 'I am one red-hot sexy mama!'
If none of the above feels right, make up your own affirmation. "To have power the statement must be juicy, in the present tense, and make you think 'yes!'," adds Steve. "Repetition and timing are important. Affirmations in the mornings are a very powerful way to start the day, and repeating them 21 times a day for 21 days is a popular formula."
Dump him for a gentleman
And finally, if the man you're with says negative things about your body, show him the door – and find yourself a real gentleman. If a man really cares for you then he'll want you just the way you are.
Now that you're armed with the powerful secrets for feeling confident at any shape, focus on how good it feels being oh-so-sexy and glow, baby, glow!
