'Oooh, Mummy!' Hugh Grant drooled in the first 'Bridget Jones' film when he discovered Bridge's big control knickers. What he was actually doing was edging towards a bit of fun role play with his new partner. Lots of us teeter on the brink of playing fantasy roles when we make love, but some actively embrace it – and boy do they have a good time!

Why? For one thing, being able to play out your fantasies together means breaking down a big barrier within a sexual relationship, and can make you feel far closer. After all, you're showing each other aspects of your personality that no one else ever sees. For another thing, many women find that 'playing' someone else allows them to release their alter ego and become far less inhibited.

But getting into role play comfortably can be quite a challenge for a couple. You both have to feel happy about it, with no one feeling daft or going along grudgingly. And in the first instance you both have to be able to admit to each other the roles that you fancy playing. 'No, I will NOT dress up as a priest!' he might say indignantly, if you greet him in a nun's outfit when you open the door on a Friday night, handing him a dog collar.

Of course there are ways and means of suggesting role play which aren't doomed to be met with ridicule or refusal. The best way to get him to comply is to test the water (just like Hugh did) with a bit of dirty talking. Get him horny and he'll be into taking it further, you can bet.

If he's initiated the first step and has suggested some role play but you've been reticent to oblige, there are ways to overcome your shyness and give the whole dressing up thing a go. Maybe the role he suggested didn't appeal to you but there's another one you like the sound of - the French maid's outfit he bought you last Christmas didn't impress, but you quite fancy the idea of being a naughty secretary (see below) with a nice pencil skirt, some seamed stockings and some killer heels. Or it could be you just didn't like the idea of him instigating it, and if you'd taken the first step and dressed up for him as a surprise, you'd be into the idea.

Want some role play ideas to get you both going? Here are some of the classics which appear time and again in erotic fiction…

Gynaecologist/Patient
He gets the doctor's outfit, you get your knickers off and lie down on the kitchen table. But before the action starts, he talks to you about 'what seems to be the trouble'. You explain you've been having problems down below. He investigates…

Teacher/Pupil
He wears a suit (or takes the more traditional look with a mortar board and cane) and sits at a desk; you wear the shortest skirt you can find and one of his ties (or the tempting schoolgirl outfit from threewisheslingerie.com) and knock on the door to tell him that you've lost your library books. Very deserving of punishment, of course – so soon you're over his knees and (not) regretting your naughty behaviour.

Fireman/Damsel in distress
He wears a PVC fireman's costume, you wear a towelling robe and nothing else. There's been a call to the station saying you need rescuing but there's no fire here. You tell him that you find firemen so very brave, and are so very grateful for his visit. Must he really rush back to his fire engine?

Stripper/Man in audience
You stand on the dining room table wearing evening wear with a pair of nipple tassels underneath and a pair of tie-side thongs. He sits in jeans and a T-shirt nursing a pint of beer. The lights are low, the music is on and you perform. As you get down from the 'stage' afterwards, he approaches you and asks if you like your job…

Secretary/Boss
Another one involving a desk... He's sitting behind it, dictating a letter, you're sitting opposite him, notepad in hand, shirt unbuttoned to a fairly indecent degree and legs slowly spreading. You're wearing no undies. He can't help looking but feels somewhat awkward. You help him overcome that awkwardness…

Doctor's outfit:
www.lovehoney.co.uk

School girl's outfit:
www.threewisheslingerie.com

Fireman's outfit:
www.fantasiawear.com

Nipple tassels:
www.coco-de-mer.co.uk

Thongs:
www.bionictonic.co.uk