For some people, anal stimulation during sex is the icing on the cake; for others the mere thought will have them running for slippers, a cup of cocoa and a good book. Although full anal intercourse is enjoyed by lots of couples as a regular, normal part of lovemaking, it need not be the be-all and end-all of anal sex and stimulation of the anus and surrounding area can heighten pleasure for men and women alike.
First things first
If you are interested in attempting anal sex or using the anus to heighten your orgasm then be aware of the very real need for hygiene. The delicate membrane in the lining of the anus is not designed to withstand friction and can easily bleed if handled roughly. That is why sexually transmitted diseases are often passed on during anal intercourse. Stimulating the area has its risks too: hands must be washed thoroughly afterwards and kept away from the vagina if fingers have been inserted into the rectum.
The first time
The most casual and natural way to introduce anal stimulation into your lovemaking is during foreplay and is worth the effort as you may be in for a very pleasant surprise.
It may feel odd at first and you may not want too much penetration (good old petroleum jelly, KY or saliva will come in useful) but having your anus touched can be so intimate. This is a very secret and private place; a very special place. You're making yourself very open when you give someone access to your anus which is precisely why it's so erotic.
Intensifying orgasms
Having your anus fingered during sex can seriously intensify orgasms. Try inserting a finger or two gently into your partner's anus – taking your time and being gentle is important as there are no natural lubricants here as there are in the vagina. Doing this as your partner is approaching climax will ensure he goes off like a rocket! It will also (hopefully) give him the idea that you'd like to have it done too.
Now, some say the following is a true test of whether a man really likes you: will he go so far as to lick your behind? Technically this is called rimming and it was the subject of a hilarious Sex and the City episode in which Miranda didn't mind her bloke of the moment doing it to her but no way was she going to do it to him.
Rimming is very erotic - it can be a wonderful new avenue for you both to explore (excuse pun). Worried about how to suggest it? Pay no attention to Miranda's qualms - surprise him by taking the first lick. With any luck he'll return the favour.
Is it for you?
And the final question to ask yourself: is full anal sex for you? For many women the answer is: yes, but only with a hell of a lot of that KY! Although the anus is a very erogenous zone, a friend of mine said that her experience of it was that it quickly went from 'oooh!' to 'ow!' and left her unimpressed.
The key to enjoying anal sex is to take it slowly and not to have more penetration than you feel happy with. The first time you might have your partner rubbing his penis against your anus. The next time you might try a little actual penetration. You may never have complete penetration but you might enjoy venturing a little into this horny activity.
A note of caution
REMEMBER: Anal sex is only for couples who know that they're not HIV positive - sex up the backside with a condom is not all that safe; it's just too tight a squeeze. It's unlikely that HIV can be passed on through rimming but if you're going to get into rimming it's best to be a) very clean and b) relatively confident of your partner's health as hepatitis is easily passed on this way. Other than that... go! Enjoy!
