Entering the famous Covent Garden Coco de Mer shop for the first time was a world away from the experience I'd been expecting. I was a complete novice to 'erotica' and this was not what I'd imagined; not what a shop that sold a range of dildos, leather whips, handcuffs and other sex toys would be like. The atmosphere was relaxed, warm, with an aroma of an old fashioned powder room - the décor was straight out of 'Moulin Rouge' - pure burlesque and really very gorgeous.
I wandered round the store on my own, feeling strangely at ease, without a hint of embarrassment. Later I was due to do a Coco de Mer salon course with my husband but for now I was to meet the women who started and runs the Coco de Mer brand. She soon appeared and we sat down to chat. How, I wanted to know, did she get into this sex business? And why?
'Coco De Mer came out of a process which was very natural for me. I really wanted to create something that was celebratory and ejected beauty back into something I truly believed to be a beautiful thing. By nature I have always been quite a controversial character - I have always been into 'really filthy', 'really dirty', and attracted by things that other people are uncomfortable with, so sex is really is one of these areas.'
Sam says her journey into the sex industry started in Brazil. She was working with a film crew, filming the destruction of the rain forest where she met a prostitute for the first time. And stripper. 'They were really amazing women,' she says.
'The stripper was an inspiration; she was one of the first women I met who I felt had sexual power.' By comparison, Sam felt insecure about her body. She went home and started taking photos of herself naked and then she branched out into showing them to her friends (naturally), and this escalated into her taking photos of her seemingly very obliging friends naked, too. This in turn escalated into a huge 10-year creative photography project.
But why all the focus on nudity? 'I believe that sex and sexuality is the essence of life. At the end of the day we are all from that source - so sex is fundamental within us all. What appeals to me is that all I am doing is just reflecting what other people feel. I don't think I'm doing anything remarkable.'
But Coco de Mer isn't sleezy - it manages to talk 'sex' to people, frankly, without being smutty. How have you managed to pull this off, I asked Sam.
Coco de Mer's got quality. It doesn't sell fantasy, it sells reality. The goal is to satisfy, to bring an added aspect to how people satisfy themselves. We really do sell the notion of providing something of quality into the bedroom, where a lot of people sell a fantasy. I think there is a degree of education attached to us and that was the idea behind providing the salons.'
Despite the heavy burlesque influence all around us, Sam insists that Coco de Mer is not essentially a burlesque company.
'Burlesque is all about the tease; it is the art of wearing something instead of the art of not wearing it, it is about an amateur's performance. The reason women love burlesque is because it seems anyone is capable of being it. You can be short, fat, thin or tall - all you need is character. Coco de Mer has been very huge in the part of promoting the movement, but there is a darkness attached to what we do. The modern burlesque movement is very safe in a funny way.'
But enough of the shop, what was it like having such a famous mother, I asked. Had it helped or hindered Sam?
'Categorically, I am only here because my mum was here before me,' insisted Sam. 'She and my Dad have been my best teachers. I adore my Mum and Dad; we are a really tight-knit family. There were things about her upbringing she hated - doing photo shoots as a child was no fun, she told me - but she is adamantly proud of her mum. 'What I loved about what my Mum did, was that she had ethics; she 'invented' fair trade. Half my products are fair trade too.'
And so to the salon...
Walking into Coco de Mer later that night with my husband, the store somehow felt very different. It was now a dark, seductive setting, with low lighting and ambient music creating a sensual atmosphere. As we were poured a glass of Champagne, I took note of our fellow classmates. There were around ten in total, a mixture of individuals and couples, and they all looked like people you'd meet at any professional event. Feeling more knowledgeable since my talk with Sam earlier that day, I led my husband round the store, stopping at my new-found favourite items.
After taking our seats Sam introduced herself and explained that we were going to explore the five senses; touch, sight, sound, taste and smell, over the next couple of hours.
Sam explained the importance of the five senses within a sexual relationship and how it can take lovemaking to another level. And then we got straight into role-play - either we were blindfolded or did the blindfolding, with a silk scarf. We then tried various experiments, touching the blindfolded partner with toys like hair whips and glass dildos. We also fed each other with fruits, rubbed kitchen herbs on our skin for our partners to smell and learnt new ways of talking to our partners to create anticipation, tension and excitement.
By the end of the evening we had learnt just how easy it is to add erotica to a relationship without being coarse. Sam's salons are a great way to experience the art of erotica and sensuality in a way that makes it accessible, fun and enjoyable. It was all about having an understanding of pleasuring yourself and each other within a loving relationship. And yes, my husband and I would both thoroughly recommend it.
