Around six million of us admit to using the internet for flirting and dating and about 75% have either been on a date or know a friend who has. People aged 18 to 80 are signing up for chats and dates and there are thousands of internet sites to suit all ages and tastes: vegetarian daters, country lovers, posh partners, plump partners, gay dates, religious partners, even dates for handbag fanatics, for all I know!
Jasmine, an attractive 30-year-old with long red hair, has been on 70 dates via the internet and has become a real expert on cyber-loving. She's met a lot of men and had a lot of sex but is still looking for a relationship that will last more than a week or two.
This is the problem with the internet. As Jasmine says, "It's a never ending porridge pot of potential partners and, with so many millions of singles out there, it's hard to find relationships that last beyond the second date."
You have to feel confident and strong to put yourself on the internet dating scene, particularly if you have gone beyond looking for 'fun and games' and want to find a lasting relationship.
The free online dating sites are a playground of potential new friends, but free sites tend to attract men who are after 'fun and games' and that translates as 'just sex'. If you want a lasting love, be honest about the fact and don't jump into bed with anyone until you've had at least three dates. Dating sites you have to pay for tend to attract a more serious type of romance seeker.
One of the best online dating tips is to not blow your budget by signing on to loads of different sites on a whim; surf around, take your time and choose a site where most of the profiles look like someone you want to meet.
A good picture is worth 15 times more clicks than an internet profile without a snap. Choose one that shows you in your best light but isn't over-flattering. Don't be tempted to use that picture that shows you 10 years ago and three stone lighter!
Be a smooth operator and make sure your answer phone message makes you sound nice and approachable, not whistling and crackling like a bitter Siberian winter! Always use your mobile and not your home or work phone. Put safety first when you think about meeting someone new.
Make sure your profile comes across as fun, friendly and approachable.
Talk about your hobbies and life in an upbeat way and never, ever talk about why your last relationship failed. That's the number one no-no. If in doubt, ask a friend to tell you what are your best features. Above all, show off your personality.
Don't judge others too quickly. We tend to over-protect ourselves and write off potential dates who are too short, tall, fat or thin but experience tells us that, once you have become more at home with dating, you start seeing behind a person's looks or shyness. Someone who is a 'no' now, may become a 'yes' later.
If you don't fancy the piranha-pond of internet chat sites (which can be brutal at times), try a chat room based on one of your hobbies, such as dancing, writing, travel or cooking. You will be sure to meet like-minded people there who share your passions and interests.
If you're not getting the right kind of replies - either not enough or not the right quality - ask a friend whether your profile is giving off the wrong signals or you are looking in the wrong place. Practise your flirting skills with the free sites and then, when you can afford it, join a paid-for site or think about joining an introduction agency or singles club.
Here at inspireparents.com/finding-love we run our popular workshops and coaching sessions for romance seekers and we'd love to hear about your adventures. Please do contact us to get more online dating tips.
Barbara Bloomfield is a writer of several books on romance and social history and a Relate counsellor with 15 years' experience of counselling individuals, couples and families. The Relate Guide To Finding Love, published by Vermilion, is available now.
