There's an old Catholic proverb that goes: 'Pain is good for you: it lets you know you are alive.' If you've just had your heart broken, you'll be feeling very much alive right now. It's hell to begin with. Nothing anyone can do or say will take the pain away. Hiring a hitman won't make you feel better, no matter how attractive it might seem.
When a relationship ends it can feel as though your world has ended along with it, but sooner or later you have to get over it and get on with your life. How long that takes is up to you - all those formulas for length of recovery time are nonsense. You can't calculate it like roasting a chicken - six months per year plus six months, or whatever. Only you can decide when you move on.
Dealing with the pain
First cut yourself some slack. It is natural to feel dreadful immediately after a split - it's human - so let yourself. Dealing with painful feelings is healthier than bottling them up, so stock up on tissues and let yourself bawl for Britain. To begin with you will feel like misery made human, but it will get better - and much more quickly than you imagine when you are in the thick of it.
If you deal with your feelings, you'll get over it a lot quicker than if you try to shut them out. Set aside time to get wailing out of your system, rather than giving yourself an open-ended invitation to wallow. A useful technique is to allow yourself half an hour or an hour every day to think about what has happened and let the bad feelings out. At the outset it won't seem like nearly enough. After a couple of weeks, you'll find your mind wandering before your allotted time is over.
Accepting that it's over is a vital step in moving on. Nourishing fantasies of getting back together only prolongs the pain.
The whole 'why me' trip is pointless. It is inevitable that you are going to have bad experiences: it is part of the human condition, rather than some global conspiracy to make you miserable.
A little of what you fancy
Revenge is just as futile. Thinking about stuffing prawns in his curtain poles or mangling his clothes might offer some light relief, but doing it won't make you feel better. However, a little of what you fancy does do you good. Going out and getting absolutely trolleyed with your mates can be a positive tonic. It won't solve anything, but it might make you smile. Drinking yourself to oblivion on a regular basis is obviously a bad idea.
Talking about it undoubtedly helps you to get over a relationship split, so get it all off your chest with your closest friends. You may need to talk about it a lot, but be careful not to let it become your only topic of conversation. There's a difference between sorting yourself out and obsessing about your ex.
Learn from your experiences - there's a lesson in every split if you look for it. You know that you have moved on when you are ready to forgive both of you.
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