First dates can be nerve-racking and tend to be steeped in little white lies. You’re promoting a better, glossier version of yourself. Showcasing the best bits, not the paranoid, annoying, lazy, real you. In new romcom Just Go With It, Adam Sandler stars as a plastic surgeon who tells his new girlfriend he’s married as a means of avoiding real commitment, which leads to him recruiting a fake family to prove his honesty.
This got us wondering how honest men actually are when they’re trying to impress on a first date, here are some of the most common and most ridiculous lies men have told to get the girl.
As a general rule, men will lie about how much they like a girl and play up what a good time they’ve had if they think there’s more chance of getting a result – sad but true! There is also the tendency to feign interest in the girl’s favourite types of music, films, books, political beliefs, green issues, or anything else she spends time talking about, in order to appear to have more in common than with her than is strictly true.
“I pretended to be really into the environment when I actually never recycled and drove everywhere.”
Another common lie is the one about coming out of another relationship recently – and the psychological impact it’s had – because they want the benefits without the commitment. This also works when claiming that they’re not looking for anything serious because in a few months they’re leaving the country, moving city or becoming a monk.
“I told a girl I was dating that I’d just landed a supporting role in a major blockbuster film (top secret of course), and had to move to America for filming.”
Exaggerate much?
Exaggeration is something we’re all guilty of, and that desire to be seen as a success can lead to any number of little white lies.‘Working in IT’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as ‘Head of the IT Department’, and then there’s the Mercedes he happened to park several streets away that looks suspiciously like his mum’s old Ford Fiesta.
Lying about salary and financial status happens all the time, describing the studio flat as a penthouse, flashing around a friend’s expired American Express Centurion card (yes, this actually happened) and generally behaving as though he always carries around lots of £20 notes and buys the most expensive wine on the list.
“When I was working as a street cleaner I used to tell girls I was a Nike representative, I don’t know why, it just seemed cool at the time!”
Playing the pity card
Then there are the pity lies. “I once told a girl I cried at Titanic so I’d seem like a sensitive guy”, “I brought up the fact I’d recently had a testicular cancer scare so she’d feel sorry for me”. And possibly the worst of all: “I knew a guy at college who used to pretend to women that he was a virgin because he was so embarrassed of his small penis, strangely this used to make them feel sorry for him – and he slept with more women than anyone else I knew!”
There are the blatant and outrageous lies: “I once told a former girlfriend I could’ve been a professional footballer but for sustaining knee ligament damage as a 16 year old, and that I went to uni instead (where we met). It was meant as a joke - just harmless fun, but she mentioned it about six months later and had been telling loads of people when telling them about me - her family and mates back home etc. Happily, none of her family ever saw me actually attempt to play football!”
And the fake brushes with fame: “I got my mate to tell a Swedish girl in a pub in Amsterdam that I was Colin Farrell’s cousin (the lie is more believable if someone tells it on your behalf with you seemingly oblivious).”
“I remember telling some girls in a club that I was Armand Van Helden’s manager and could get them back stage; I had to make myself scarce after that so they wouldn’t hold me to it.”
“I once told a girl I was a Robbie Williams impersonator, I was a big fan of his at the time but I cringe about it now!”
“I actually pretended I went on Wacaday as a child and met Timmy Mallett”, (we're not really sure how this is impressive!)
Not forgetting the lie that backfires: “A mate of mine was stopped in the street by a pretty charity collector – he got out of signing up by saying he had no money because he was a recovering drug addict, they got on so well they ended up going on a date but then she found out it was a lie and it was really awkward.”
Just Go With It is out on Blu-ray and DVD on 30 May, courtesy of Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.
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