As you quickly click the email open the typed words jump from the screen. "I'm sorry, this isn't working out, I don't think we should see each other any more. It's not you, it's me. I need some space."
Sound familiar? Technology may have revolutionised the way we date but it has also allowed a new way to escape the dreaded face-to-face break-up.
In my own experience it went somewhere more along the lines of "Dear Emma, I thought I should tell you I'm sleeping with someone else. Sorry. I hope I haven't upset you." After all, I had only been dating this guy for a mere seven months! Quite obviously such people are selfish and inconsiderate but aside from my own ranting about evil ex-boyfriends, the professionals know why they do it...
Counsellor Charlotte Hansen says people who take the easy way out are only thinking of themselves. "People who end a relationship via email or text usually do it to avoid seeing their partner's reaction and can fool themselves into thinking they are not hurting them, thus their view of themselves as a good person remains intact."
Break-ups are difficult at the best of times but usually you can ask why, talk about it, and generally vent your frustrations, scream and shout and cry at your partner. The email break-up takes this away. The whys and wherefores have to wait.
Catherine Dunn, 26, was also dumped via email by a man she was totally smitten with. "It definitely made it more difficult to deal with the end of the relationship. I couldn't reconcile the way he treated me during the break-up with how he had said he felt about me," she explained. "I couldn't believe he could be so callous. In retrospect I think he was clearly having trouble dealing with it himself and it was just the easiest way for him. He didn't think about how it might affect me."
Whenever you are dumped your self-esteem tends to hit rock bottom but when your partner doesn't afford you the dignity of telling you to your face, it can be even worse. Counsellor Hansen agrees. "This type of break-up can negatively affect the person being dumped by making them feel as if they didn't mean enough to their partner to deserve a face-to-face break-up. It can damage their self-worth which is likely to impact on future relationships."
Now, looking on the positive side, if there is one, perhaps the online "it's off" message lets us maintain our dignity a little more – no snotty mumblings of "I thought you loved me" or crazed outbursts of "you were awful in bed anyway". In fact, email can help us communicate more clearly. It lets us say things the way we want to, in a straightforward, understandable way rather than the confused and mumbled version that often comes mixed with emotion and arguments.
Such communication can actually be useful during a relationship. Sometimes we can be nervous about saying something for fear of a negative reaction. A typical example is spicing up your sex life with a bit of dirty talk. Starting this out via text or email allows you to test the water with your partner without feeling embarrassed.
"Nevertheless," warns counsellor Hansen, "it should be used to enhance face-to-face communication not replace it. Face-to-face communication is much more then the actual words spoken. Body language, facial expression and tone of voice convey a lot more."
We all know what she means. How many times have you and your friends sat around and dissected a text message letter by letter to decipher how the guy is feeling? Emails and texts are always open to misinterpretation as your state of mind affects how you read them. Someone who is paranoid may read unpleasantness into innocent comments while someone who is desperately trying to save their relationship may turn a blind eye to negative comments. Often we read between the lines too much. After all, men are simple creatures.
As hard as it may be, the most productive form of communicating with a partner is always in person. Ending a relationship is never easy but the best way is to meet face to face and explain your reasons tactfully. Choosing text or email shows no respect for the other person or the time spent together.
Maybe I should send my ex-boyfriend this article and teach him a thing or two about communication. Or maybe I should just be happy that my new boyfriend is man enough to tell me his true feelings to my face (including the dirty ones!).
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