Just say no
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Man: Top 10 relationship and dating dealbreakers
By Diane Shipley
After a dating drought, it’s tempting to believe that the first Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike to cross your path is your perfect match. But make sure you’re not overlooking any major character flaws before falling head over heels. Here are our top 10 dating and relationship deal breakers: those red flags that warn you a relationship doesn’t stand a chance. If yourman pulls any of these, get him out of your life, and fast…
Obsessing over his ex
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Top ten dating dealbreakers Obsessing over his ex
There’s nothing wrong with discussing past relationships – briefly! – after two or three dates. But if he launches into a monologue about his recent devastating break-up two minutes after you meet, or drops his former lover’s name into every other sentence (“Wow! Laura liked pasta, too…”), chances are he’s not ready for a new girlfriend yet. Why waste your time with him when you could be out with a man who actually wants to be with you?
Short hands long pockets
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Couple: Top 10 relationship and dating dealbreakers
No modern woman expects a man to pay for every date; it’s not 1953 any more. But if he hates leaving a tip, makes you walk miles in your new heels so he doesn’t have to splash out on parking, and works out the bill for dinner using a calculator… he may not be the generous type. And if he’s selfish and controlling about money, he’s probably that way in every area of his life. Get out before he sends you a bill for ‘services rendered’…
Talking trash about his family
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Man and woman arguing: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
Some people are close to their families and never even argue, while others had the childhood from hell. However bad his relationship with his relatives may be, if he starts slagging them off before he even knows your surname, he needs a therapist more than he needs a new girlfriend. And if a man you’re dating call his mum a beyotch, even as a joke, he doesn’t respect women – and you shouldn’t respect him.
Fear of commitment
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Scared groom: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
While we’re happy to hold off on picking out china patterns for a good few months/years/decades, most women want to feel that a relationship is going somewhere. If you’re six months down the line before you find out he has a brother, and none of his friends even know your name, take it as a sign that he’s not too serious about you… and may never will be.
Moving far too fast
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Man proposing: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
On the other hand, a man who is too keen to become committed can be just as much of a turn-off. Maybe he mentions you meeting his parents after your first date and asks if you see kids in your future on your second. Or maybe he never uses the first person pronoun anymore (everything is “we”) and accepts joint invitations on your behalf. It’s sweet that he likes you so much, but he needs to take it down a notch or 10.
Obsessing over onscreen action
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Man with games console: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
There’s nothing wrong with using Guitar Hero to let off a little steam, or playing a sneaky round of Scrabulous when you should be finishing that report for work (hey, we’ve all been there). But any guy who is so into video games that he devotes his weekends to World Of Warcraft and can’t put down his joystick during your phone calls has a problem. You will never win out over Lara Croft, so unless you’re similarly obsessed, stop trying. (Note: this applies to any other hobby he gets geeky about, too.)
Always out with his mates
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Man: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
A man who refuses to drop his friends just because he’s falling in love is clearly loyal, caring and not too clingy. All great qualities. But if he can never make time for you because he’s always out with his mates, and he will never arrange to see you on a Friday or Saturday night, even for a special occasion, you might want to evaluate if he’s as special as you thought.
Opposites (don\'t) attract
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Couple arguing: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
At the start of a relationship, it can be tempting to think that your differences are charming and will lead to passionate arguments and great make-up sex. But before long, you’ll be bored. You’ll want to have a pleasant chat instead of a full-blown argument, and rent a movie without a long-winded discussion beforehand. You don’t have to agree with a potential partner about everything, but if you can’t make it to dessert without verging on a fist fight, call it quits for the sake of your sanity.
If you can\'t say anything nice
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Woman: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
Even worse than a guy who wants to argue about everything is one who doesn’t talk at all. Long, lustful looks might get you through a couple of dates, but a monosyllabic man will soon start to frustrate you. You tell him about your day and he just nods; you ask him for advice and he says you’ll be okay. Is he moody and selfish or just shy? Who cares! Communication is integral to any relationship and if he doesn’t get that, he doesn’t get you.
Checking out other girls
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Man checking out woman: Top 10 dating and relationship dealbreakers
Most men notice other women, but if your man gets whiplash from watching pretty girls stroll by, then either he needs a lesson in subtlety or it’s time for you to re-think the relationship. After all, it should take a very special woman indeed to make his eyes wander away from you…
