One of the most pernicious social trends of the Noughties is the need to be always busy - seeing something, doing something, being with people. It is the root cause of untold hangovers, sky high phone bills and empty bank accounts, not to mention really, really dull evenings.
Its sufferers are easy to spot as they are invariably yakking noisily into their mobiles about how they never have a moment to themselves and no, they aren't free until next Tuesday or Wednesday the week after that.
A former friend of mine had a really bad dose of it. Her diary would be booked up for weeks on end and she saw such a lot of people she seemed like the most popular person going - or one of the most desperate because all too often she bitched and moaned about the people she socialised with. When she finally got a man, she dropped almost everyone because she no longer needed insurance against feeling lonely.
Sadly, in many cases, that's what drives the imperative to always be busy: fear of being lonely. But being lonely and being alone are not synonymous and, anyway, the strategy sucks because it is possible to be lonely in a crowd or in a couple.
Some people naturally love their own company, but it is possible to learn to be happy by yourself. What's more, it is a valuable life skill that not only removes the spectre of loneliness, it also, paradoxically, makes you more attractive company. After all, desperation is never attractive.
Positive planning
The key to success is taking a positive attitude and planning ahead. Make a list of all the things you never normally have time for, can only do on your own, no one shares your interest in, you've always wanted to do but never had the time/money/opportunity and stuff that you just really enjoy doing. You will probably be surprised by how many things you have been depriving yourself of. Promise to put that right, starting with, say, one night a week devoted to doing something for you. Plan it in careful detail so that you are actually looking forward to a night by yourself.
Make a night of it. Rather saying to yourself "There's nothing on telly, I may as well have a bath and another early night", treat yourself to a production number bath: scented oils, tons of candles, a good book or loads of your favourite magazines, perhaps a glass of wine.
Indulge in those beauty treatments that you never have time for, moisturise yourself from head to toe, give yourself a foot massage - whatever turns you on and whatever you wouldn't have time for if you didn't have this moment to yourself. If you can be arsed, change the sheets before you get into the bath, so you slip all silken and lovely into crisp, clean sheets.
Indulge yourself
Rather than "Nothing on telly, suppose I could get a video", make a list of films you missed at the cinema or couldn't get anyone to see with you, then indulge in your taste in films and glory in the freedom you have to watch what you like. Again plan ahead and make sure you have your favourite whatevers on hand so the sense of indulging yourself is complete.
Exercise your freedom by making a point of telling yourself that you can do what you like, then bloody well go and do it.
