Do you suffer from a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease? Some of us just can’t keep our lips sealed, even if it means our relationship is at stake. Here are seven phrases you really, really want to avoid saying to your partner. Unless you’re planning on ending the relationship that is...
‘You’ve always known I’m like this!’
Using the ‘You’ve always known I’m like this’ line to justify late night drinking sessions or leaving your dirty underwear on the floor is not ok. In fact, it’s down-right immature. Just because you did something when you were at university doesn’t make it acceptable ten years on when you’ve got a mortgage and responsibilities. In reality what you’re saying to your partner is, ‘I’m never going to grow-up or change, so don’t even think about it'.
If you find yourself saying this, it’s time to look to yourself and see what you can change for the better. However, if you think your man is making unreasonable demands on what you should and shouldn’t do, this might be one stumbling block too many for your relationship.
‘You’re rubbish in the sack’
Guys have hang-ups about sex too – as modern women we should know this. If you were expecting an earth shattering experience, but in reality barely got a tremor, resist the temptation to mock him. Often, all it takes is a little guidance to get someone on the right track sexually – and if you’re not telling him how to push your buttons, then how is he supposed to know? He’s not a mind-reader. Saying something scathing is likely to really hurt his ego – or even have him looking elsewhere for someone more sensitive.
‘Perhaps we should end it then!’
Everyone gets angry sometimes, but the key is to allow the anger to subside before you make any decisions or rash statements. It’s like going shopping after a few too many glasses of wine – it seems like a great idea, but leads to very poor decisions. You wouldn’t tell your boss you were quitting in the middle of an argument, so don’t use the same tactic with your partner.
‘Why aren’t you more like [insert ex’s name]?’
A huge no-no. Exes and current beaus just don’t mix – whether you’re bringing up your old boyfriend on a first date, or telling your man of 5 years that you wish he’d be ‘more thoughtful like James was’. Maybe he isn’t quite as thoughtful as James, but he doesn’t need to start thinking that you’re pining after your ex. After all, if ‘James’ was so great, why aren’t you still together?
‘Well you did that too!’
Passing blame is pretty childish; it’s the kind of behaviour you probably indulged in with your siblings when you were much younger. When you’re seven it’s ok, but when you’re 27 it’s not. Just because your boyfriend or husband was late for dinner five years ago it’s not ok to raincheck on a meal with his mum tonight.
'I’m shattered from work. I really can’t do that right now’
You’ve had a long day - you’re entitled to a sit down once you’re home. But that doesn’t exempt you from all the household chores. After all, your other half is likely to be just as tired as you, so why should you be a special case? Playing this card will just build up resentment. We know that ironing, tidying and cleaning are the last things you want to do when you get home from work, but if you both pitch in it’ll be done in half the time and then you can relax together.
‘No comment.’
When politicians and film stars say ‘No comment’ about something, you’re instantly suspicious aren’t you? It makes you wonder what they’re hiding. The same applies in a relationship. Communication is the key to a healthy partnership; without it the rot will set in and you might as well call it a day there and then.
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Are you thinking of calling time on your relationship? Then read our 10 signs it's time to split feature.
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