The news that Kylie Minogue had split from French boyfriend Olivier Martinez followed a fairly typical celebrity format - the public statement that pint-sized pop princess released confirmed the break-up with the immortal affirmation that she and the French actor were still close and would, of course, remain friends.

It's easy to be cynical at that one. After all, Paul McCartney and his very estranged wife Heather Mills said more or less the same when they split in 2006 and look what happened there. In the Minogue-Martinez split, however, you sense a real belief in Kylie's wishes for she and her charming ex to remain friends. This is the man, after all, whom she has repeatedly publicly referred to as her 'rock' throughout her recent battle with breast cancer. Certainly Martinez has, on the surface at least, seemed to be there for the singer, offering the kind of silent but ever-present support that most of us would hope for in such a similar fate.

All change

However, the strain of such an illness results in a collateral damage that extends far beyond the person suffering from the disease - family and lovers are all hugely affected by the stresses and strains of watching a loved one fight a medical battle of a lifetime. The fallout of this can be the beginning of the end for many couples as their relationship undergoes a change from which it may never fully recover.

All couples play roles within their relationship, from the obvious Alpha Male big-earning breadwinner and stay-at-home Domestic Goddess to a more subtle split in practical duties and emotional responsibilities. Over the course of a relationship's lifetime, these roles will change to meet shifting circumstance, but it's often a gradual, evolving process that can be almost seamlessly adapted to. When couples go through a big life event such as a major illness, however, their relationship undergoes a sudden gear-change and not only do their roles change, but the fundamental dynamic of their partnership alters too.

Moving on

The leap from being lovers first and foremost into patient/carer roles is a seismic shift that can alter a relationship's chemistry forever. For some, the change offers insights into one another that, over time and with distance, can strengthen the romantic bonds they first had. For others, however, that role change is where a couple sticks, finding themselves never able to switch back to romantic liaison again.

It isn't just illness that can cause this - parenthood, bereavement, coping with the pressure and strains of one partner's dependence on alcohol, gambling or drugs; all of these things and more can inalterably change the texture of a couple's partnership forever. The key to not letting it destroy you as well as the relationship, is to both recognise it when it's happened and to accept it, so that you can both move on - filled with the inevitable regret, but hopefully without bitterness.

Kylie Minogue has shown us many things in her long career as a pop minstrel - she's taught us everything from the Locomotion to surviving breast cancer with dignity and brave grace. Now she's giving us what can only be a painful lesson in moving on. And as a lesson being taught with her characteristic fortitude and courtesy, it's one we could all do with paying attention to.