A recent stage in human evolution has been the arrival of Savvy Man – the male that has acquired the precarious art of knowing when to lie to his girlfriend. When asked if he's wearing the same boxer shorts he'd put on three days ago, he replies in the positive. Faced with "Does my bum look big in this?" his new awareness kicks in and he replies: "No, babe. You look gorgeous."
If your man is lagging behind on this evolutionary scale, introduce him to the following Truth Rules - ten truths he should never tell. Ever.
1 Yes, you look fat in those jeans
No matter how tight her jeans - even if the cellulite of her thighs is discernible through the denim – lie. Women have a constant fear of looking fat. It is vital that you stick to your role as Small-Bum-Seer-In-Command. Whenever your girlfriend lies to herself, do not contradict her.
2 Do we have to visit your parents?
Her mother gave birth to your beautiful, talented, fantastic-in-bed girlfriend didn't she? Well then. Better say: "If you grow old half as gracefully as your mum then I am a very lucky man. Shall we take her flowers this weekend?"
3 Your friends are fit!
Don't fancy her friends. Your lady is the fairest in the land. Coming between her and her friends may be at the top of your fantasy list, but if you're too honest you're likely to get shown the door, not the Durex.
4 I want the last Malteser
Doh! On no occasion do you ever want the last bit of chocolate/dessert/ice cream. It's hers. You know it. (This tip comes courtesy of the marvellous members of Beautifulpeople.net).
5 Cor!! That woman's got really great tits!
Look, buster, don't let your thoughts slip out. Your girlfriend's work, right? Be grateful for what you've got.
6 Let's go halves
Come off it. It might be great for you, but who matters most in this relationship? Here's the deal - she looks pretty and loves you long time. You pay for the treats.
7 This isn't working for me anymore
Didn't do well in GCSE art? Here's an opportunity to explore your creativity. Telling it as it is will hurt the pair of you. Unlike 27-year-old Eleanor's boyfriend, think of an alternative. "We were messing about but he was a bit distracted and I said 'I don't think you fancy me any more,' expecting him to reply: 'Don't be silly. Of course I do' and jump on me! But instead he just said, 'I think you're right.' Obviously I had to finish with him. But I do wish he'd lied about the fancying part."
8 I can't get near you now you're pregnant
Lucy's husband is a cleverer man: "I find pregnant women incredibly sexually attractive. You are nurturing and beautiful. You are not a huge, ungainly, white whale-like lump of complaining flesh. You are Mother Earth." "Well, he was kind of coerced into saying it," admits the 30-year-old mother-to-be.
9 You've got spinach in your teeth
"I trained a previous boyfriend to recognise that if my mascara was round my ankles that wasn't the time to lie and say I looked amazing. The thing was, he would always tell me these things when I hadn't asked, which I found insensitive," says Anna, 32.
10 Man United is the love of my life
Play the game, son. It goes like this – she fakes a passing interest in football when you rave on about it 24/7. And despite spending more time and money at matches than her, you pretend in any conflict (eg big match vs sales shopping) that she comes first.
