All I want for Christmas...

Christmas - isn\'t it romantic? As the song goes, \"it\'s the most wonderful time of the year\"... but it\'s also one of the most stressful. If you want to make merry and nice (or even better, make whoopee), Jean Hannah Edelstein, author of Himglish and Femalese: Why Women Don\'t Get Why Men Don\'t Get Them, offers her top 10 tips for a romantic Christmas...

See Jean\'s top 10 communication tips for couples

Be direct

1. Make sure he knows what you want (if you care that much).

Men communicate more directly than women, and thus they\'re not always great at picking up on what we think are perfectly clear, subtle hints. If you haven\'t told him explicitly what to get you (or made sure that someone else close to you has dropped the hint like a ton of bricks), it\'s not really fair for you to get in a pique over him missing the point. If you think that it\'s unromantic to tell him, then you\'ll just have to accept what he gives you in the spirit with which it is bestowed.

Office romance

2. Don\'t hook up with the colleague you fancy at the Christmas party.

If it\'s meant to be, you can wait until January, when all of your colleagues won\'t be watching and poised to gossip about it. It\'s better for your career and it\'s better for any kind of nascent love affair.

Meet the parents

3. Brief him before he meets your family.

Even a man with the most impeccable manners can make a dire mistake in the emotionally-charged milieu that is many a family Christmas. Make sure he knows the hot-button issues - even if they\'re a bit embarrassing - before you set him free among your extended family.

Family drama

4. Stay out of his family\'s politics.

This is, of course, often easier said than done, but if you\'re spending the holiday with his family, now is not the time to get embroiled in difficult familial debates. Leave that for a time when everyone is not charged with holiday emotion and slightly sick from hard sauce and drunk on Buck\'s Fizz, it will be a lot more civilised.

You time

5. Make up your own rituals.

One way to make it feel less like a tug-of-war between two factions that are used to celebrating the holiday in very different ways? Establish a little ritual that\'s just for the two of you to share and which can\'t be appropriated by either of your families.

Drunken mistakes

6.  Don\'t get drunk at his office Christmas party.

Or in a fight with him. Or otherwise make a scene. It\'s not your time. You may find that your other half is not as sweet in the company of his colleagues as he is with you, and you might find that annoying, but hold back on discussing it until you\'re not in his professional milieu.

The credit crunch

7. Don\'t break the bank.

It can be tempting to max out your credit card on his gift in an attempt to demonstrate how much you love him. Don\'t worry about it too much. If your choice of present (or his) can have a negative effect on your relationship, then you have more to worry about than getting through the Christmas period.

Time keeper

8. Be generous with your time.

The Christmas period will likely require you to spend time with people in his life who are important to him who you don\'t particularly care for, or vice versa; this is not a time to complain or get in spats over how many minutes you\'ve spend this year with his family as opposed to yours, but rather grin, bear it, and make sure he reciprocates by visiting your boring great aunt. Remember, also, that you are allowed to visit your families separately if that works best for the two of you - even if it prompts people who don\'t know you very well to whisper.

All the single ladies

9. Don\'t let being single get you down.

Being single at Christmas is the same as being single at any other time of year: sometimes lonely, but also sometimes excellent. It\'s easy to forget about the excellence, however, when your loved-up friends are sporting their new jewellery and Auntie Kate is trying to set you up with her next door neighbour\'s son. The point of Christmas is not to make you sad, and you should feel free to avoid situations that might - even if it means turning down some invitations.

Keep calm

10. Don\'t panic.

Don\'t regard the success of your first (or third or 17th) Christmas together as a bellwether of your entire relationship if it doesn\'t go well. Sometimes pressure and other factors intervene to make the holiday period less than splendid, but that doesn\'t negate the other eleven months of your relationship.

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