Tracey Cox's guide to great oral sex

What do men want more of in bed? No prizes for guessing the answer. Follow our hands-on tips for oral sex and put a smile on his face!

Couple Nothing will score you more points in the bedroom than delivering mind-blowing oral sex. Forget the old 'way to a man's heart is through his stomach' stuff. If being told 'You're a great cook' is a compliment, you'll be worshipped for performing a hellishly good blow-job.

Why the fascination? Well, oral sex is still somehow naughty – despite the fact that most couples include it as standard lovemaking. Add to this that mouths and tongues are wetter, softer and more agile than hands and vaginas, and you start to see why his tongue's on the floor at the mere suggestion of it.

There's just one golden rule to being the best fellatrix he's ever had: learn to love it. I've got to be kidding? Get a grip, girl – literally! There are three main reasons why women don't like giving men oral sex. Happily, each has a very simple solution.

1. It smells
Solution: Have a shower together beforehand or ask him to. Make sure he pays particular attention to pulling back the foreskin and washing underneath.

2. I'll gag
Solution: Change your position and technique for maximum control. Get him to stand in front of you. You sit on the bed or an appropriate (height) piece of furniture facing him. Use one hand to control his penis (place it at the bottom of the shaft), and you're in the ultimate position to control how deeply you take it into your mouth. Most feeling is in the head of the penis, not the shaft, so you don't need to take it deeply into your mouth. Men like 'deep throat' for the psychological kick more than anything. If your partner insists on doing that charming hands-on-back-of-head-to-shove-you-down-further thing, tell him not to ever again or you'll stop immediately. And not re-start ever again. Trust me – that'll do it.

Some men will try to convince you that not swallowing is a bit like eating a hot dog without the sausage

3. I don't want to swallow
Solution: So don't! Some men will try to convince you it's a bit like eating a hot dog without the sausage but the real objection isn't about whether you swallow or not, it's how you deal with his sperm when he does ejaculate. Contrary to popular belief, semen is not sulphuric acid. So there's no need to do all that girly squealing if some lands on you or does end up in your mouth. Spitting it out is rude, unattractive and insulting. Either withdraw when he's about to orgasm and continue stimulating him with your hand or let him ejaculate elsewhere on your body. (Apparently it's extremely good for your skin – tightens pores and everything!)

Right! Now we've got that out the way, follow this step-by-step guide to making your partner very happy!

1. Get into position
Your mouth wrapped around his penis is a turn-on, but you kneeling in front of him to do it, even more so. Men are erotic visualists and primarily aroused by what they can see (one reason why they're so into girlie mags!). If being on your knees reeks so much of subservience your feminist friends would never forgive you, at least choose a position where he can watch. Let him see your face or even hold your hair back. Don't close your eyes, keep them open. If you're brave, hold eye contact. If you're too embarrassed, look at his penis instead.

2. Don't dive straight for the good bits
You hate him going straight for your breasts, don't give him the same treatment. Instead, tease mercilessly. Lick and nibble his nipples while stroking his lower stomach with your fingers. Lick your way downward until his penis is straining for attention, then bypass it completely by licking down the outside of his thighs until you reach the inside of his knee, then move back up his inner thigh until you get to his testicles. Stop there and...

3. Drive him nuts
Get ballsy by taking control of his. It is a bit of a personal thing – some men hate their testicles being stimulated, others love it – but well worth giving a go. (Besides, it's an area that often gets ignored, so you'll impress him by trying even if he doesn't like it.) The most important rule: don't bite or pull them too hard. Circle the area where his testicles and penis meet with the tip of your tongue, flicking it back and forth. Or use your tongue to lick swirling patterns around each testicle. Later, when you've started fellating him, you can use one hand to lightly cup his testicles and gently 'juggle' them. If he seems to like that sensation, very gently pull downward. When your hand moves down the shaft of the penis stop pulling, when you move it back up toward the head, start pulling again.

4. Use your hands
Use one hand to take a firm hold of his penis, and start by giving one fabulously long lick from the base of his penis right to the top. Always use two hands during oral sex: one to hold the penis so it doesn't move all over the place, the other to touch him on his hotspots (nipples, testicles, anus – more on that below). You're not sure how to masturbate him? The best way to find out how he likes you to use your hand is to ask for a demonstration of how he masturbates himself. Then simply imitate. Don't tug or yank at the foreskin, manipulate it so it slides up and over the penile head and use a little saliva to keep things nice and slippery. Once you've got the hand motion under control, then add your mouth. Use lots of saliva: the more lubricated he is, the more pleasurable it will feel.

5. Move into the basic technique
Slide your hand up and down his penis (closing it when you reach the head, opening it slightly as you slide down the length) as it's moving in and out of your mouth. With your lips covering your teeth, close your mouth around the penis and encircle it so there's a firm but comfortable pressure. You're not sucking, but making your mouth a snug fit. (Practise on your finger and you'll feel what I mean). Once you've got this mastered, move into the 'swirl and twirl'. Make a gentle twisting motion with your hand as you're sliding it up and down his penis and swirl your tongue around the rim of the head, paying particular attention to the stringy bit of skin that joins the head and shaft (the frenulum). The more tongue movements while it's in your mouth, the better.

6. Work on other hotspots simultaneously
It's true that what worked with Brad won't work with Brian, but we're all wired up the same way even if we do have individual preferences. Keep stimulating other areas while you're fellating him. Try firmly stroking (or massaging in mini-circles) the perineum (the area between his anus and testicles). Tickle and stroke the area below his belly-button and the base of his penis just as he's about to orgasm.

7. Take him to heaven
As with women, steady rhythm is important. As he approaches orgasm however, step up the speed and pressure. To make his orgasm even more intense, press the perineum firmly with your thumb.

Now all that's left to do is... lie back and wait for the congratulations. They should follow immediately after he's finished moaning 'Oh! My! God!' about 25 times.

Published: 29 January 2004

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Comments

(13)

1		very informative.thanks Anonymous April 09, 2008 04:06 AM Report comment
2		i love to give my partner the best oral sex.thanks for all the new techniques. Anonymous April 09, 2008 04:08 AM Report comment
3		Why try and talk girls out of the "hands on the back of the head" as a viable oral sex stimulant? Or even the deepthroat technique? If they want to let them. I sounds as if you are interjecting your own take on things-at the expense of great sex! Anonymous May 09, 2008 12:57 AM Report comment
4		ohhh i see thanx for the techniques! Anonymous June 05, 2008 05:59 PM Report comment
5		great Anonymous June 10, 2008 07:24 PM Report comment
6		my cock never felt better, and so did his! Anonymous July 08, 2008 04:42 AM Report comment
7		Wow I'm going to try it. Hopefully he will be schoked Anonymous August 28, 2008 07:31 AM Report comment
8		rofl Anonymous August 28, 2008 11:11 PM Report comment
9		xoxo i will try it next time...wanna make him comes Anonymous September 28, 2008 02:04 PM Report comment
10		that will help. he love my orals but i want to make them extra amazing Anonymous October 05, 2008 08:20 PM Report comment
11		`thanks that was really well put and my partner really loved it and i have never been comfortable about talking about it. (he showed this page to me) Anonymous October 18, 2008 04:32 AM Report comment
12		i m forwardin 2 my girl ;) i hope she will learn somethin frm it Anonymous November 14, 2008 02:57 AM Report comment
13		Swallowing his cum also tends to increase his pleasure Anonymous November 18, 2008 04:40 AM Report comment