Following the death of my ex-husband four years ago, I've noticed that his mum has been very unwell. She used to be in reasonable health, but now her immune system appears very low. She gets frequent chest infections, her type II diabetes has worsened, she has resumed smoking and is generally suffering more often than not.

As far as research is concerned, this is not unusual. Stress related to grief and bereavement can play a major role in your subsequent health following the loss of someone you love, as verified by health and wellbeing consultant, Liz Tucker, co-founder of the Be Happy Be Healthy Initiative (www.behappybehealthy.co.uk).

'Bereaved people go through a series of emotions like denial, fear, isolation and anger, known as a stress curve, until they reach acceptance. The most recent research has finally acknowledged that people suffering from bereavement have a high incidence of post-traumatic stress disorder, particularly if the death was from unnatural causes like accident or suicide (40%).

'While bereavement is not an illness in itself, if not addressed it can lead to serious chronic health conditions from constant stress.'

So is it possible to take steps against your body suffering? Natural health alternatives can be a good way of being kind to yourself and gently combating the ill-effects of stress, as Anne Bennett, complementary therapies co-ordinator at St Wilfred's Hospice, Chichester, points out: 'We offer a therapy service to the families of patients who have passed away and have had very positive feedback regarding it. Bereaved relatives can have reiki, reflexology, aromatherapy or massage, and the helpful effects can range from anything to improving sleep to easing headaches and panic.'

Finding a good alternative health practitioner for treatments could help you ward off the ill effects of stress, or try experimenting with essential oils or Bach Flower Remedies.

Lavender is well known for its calming and sleep-inducing properties, while frankincense, says Anne, can be good for steadying your breathing. With Flower Remedies, Sweet Chestnut is known to overcome mental anguish and intense sorrow, Gorse can help people who are in a state of hopelessness, and Star of Bethlehem is for the after-effects of shock.

Helen Streeter, PR executive, used Bach Rescue Remedy (£3.95 for 10ml, Holland & Barrett) when her father-in-law died recently. 'He was in intensive care with pneumonia for about two weeks and it was incredibly stressful for both my husband and I. Rescue Remedy really helped over the whole period and made me calm and strong for him when he needed me most.'

Of course, sleep is one of the things you most need for good health; it can be deeply lacking in times of bereavement. There are lots of natural methods available to promote sleep. Valerian has strong sedative properties and can be bought from stores such as Holland & Barrett and Boots. You could also try Boots Alternatives Sleep Well Cones (£7.75 for 18).

Don't bottle things up, either, says Barbara Ford-Hammond, who runs stress management clinics (www.barbaraford-hammond.com), especially regarding anxieties, unresolved issues or other negative feelings. 'If you are stuck in a loop of thoughts or negative self-talk, try and talk through what you are feeling and allow tears to flow freely or laugh at happy memories. Specialist counselling can help those who want to talk it through away from family or friends.'

Also try:
AromaTheutics Lavender Range, which includes Lavender Perfume Cream, £4.95 for 30g, Lavender Gel, £5.45 for 50g, Lavender Roll-On £4.75 for 10ml and French Lavender Essential Oil, £4.75 for 10ml. Available by mail order only or by calling 01933 410055

Balancing Blooms (a blend of natural flower essences) in Peace or Calmdown! £5.99 for 20ml fromwww.balancingblooms.com