Sex therapy – two simple words that strike fear into many a heart, male or female. After all, who wants to think about having to seek help for their sex life? It's just doing what comes naturally, isn't it? Anything else is a sign of failure, right? Well, wrong, actually.
In fact, sex therapy – or psychosexual therapy (PST), as you might sometimes see it referred to – is an increasingly acceptable tool in the How To Be Part Of A Happy Couple kit box. On its website, www.relate.org.uk, relationship counsellors Relate state that its counsellors see over 5,000 couples a year with problems relating to their sex life – 93% of whom report finding their sexual relationships to be 'significantly better' following therapy.
What is sex therapy and who needs it?
PST is a blanket term for any kind of relationship problem that's impacting upon you and your partner's sex life and draws on the skills of trained professionals from either a medical or counselling background who have specialised in the issues surrounding sex.
For men, common sexual issues that need to be addressed are to do with performance (check out information on erectile dysfunction for example). While for women, painful sex and problems with orgasm or desire often feature.
Or it could be that one or other of you is feeling inhibited sexually, you feel less sexually compatible than you once did or your sex life just seems to have generally gone off the boil (common in long-term relationships or for couples who've had children). Whatever it might be, discussing the issues with a qualified therapist can help you get your physical relationship back on track.
As with anything, admitting that you have a problem is the first major step towards resolving it. Your GP might be able to help you directly (by prescribing medication such as Viagra, say) or refer you on for specialised help. Equally, your local family-planning clinic is another option; most of the doctors are trained in psychosexual matters and will be able to treat you on site.
Alternatively, visit a private organisation dedicated to relationship problems, such as Relate (see above). Or contact the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (www.basrt.org.uk) for a qualified therapist in your area.
And if your partner isn't ready to seek help yet, it still might be worth considering going alone – talking through your problems with a professional can be very therapeutic in itself.
